*CindyFella spins*
Leo DeCrapio: Dear God… that was a TANK model spin!
CindyFella: So I’m big boned! What’s your problem!
Leo DeCrapio: Honey, T-Rex’s are big boned. You’re just bloody fat!
CindyFella: I resent that!
Leo DeCrapio: Resent? Resemble? It’s all the same really!
CindyFella: Okay fine! So my weight could use a little fine tuning.
Leo DeCrapio: Violins need fine tuning. You need a mass salvage, like a rundown fort!
CindyFella: No need to be so heartless!
Leo DeCrapio: If I were heartless I’d tell you that you were so fucking fat, you leek black oil out of your sweat glands. Which is good! At this rate, we’ll be having a huge shortage the stuff for our cars and you’ll definitely be in demand!
CindyFella: Is there anything we can do about this?
Leo DeCrapio: Short of cutting you up and using you as a substitute product for pork meat?
CindyFella: Definitely short of that!
Leo DeCrapio: From now on you’re officially bulimic! It worked for Amy Whinehorse! Everyone feels bad for her! And she looks hot now?
CindyFella: I don’t want to be just skin and bones.
Leo DeCrapio: Honey, the FuhGee’s would stop making bad cover albums the day before you became skin and bones. Robin William would be less hairy than a mammoth! Politicians would take responsibility for global warming. Nicole Itchy would be hot!
CindyFella: Okay… okay… Bulimia is still a disgusting habit. I refuse to do it!
Leo DeCrapio: The only alternative is exercise.
CindyFella: So, I stick my fingers in my throat and puke out what ever I eat right? I can live with that.
Leo DeCrapio: Nah! Scratch that. We need to flog this movie off as a family movie. Can’t have you puking all over the place. Who’ll buy the overpriced popcorn? Besides I have a secret ingredient that will definitely help!
CindyFella: Exercise… *sigh*
Leo DeCrapio: Yes! We’ll start with some chin ups! BRING IT ON BABY!
CindyFella: BRING IT ON BABY!
Leo DeCrapio jumps CindyFella and kisses him
CindyFella: *splutter* I knew that was gonna happen!
Leo is cycling and CindyFella is jogging behind him.
Leo DeCrapio: I don’t know what I’ve been told!
CindyFella: I don’t know what I’ve been told!
Leo DeCrapio: I’m gonna run till I I run out of fat folds!
CindyFella: I’m gonna run till I… WHAT?
Leo is spotting for CindyFella who is shown lifting a bar
Leo DeCrapio: One!
CindyFella: One!
Leo DeCrapio: Two!
CindyFella: Tohhhhh!
Leo DeCrapio: Three!
CindyFella: Thre…. HELP! HELP!
Leo helps lift the bar from CindyFella.
Leo DeCrapio: Good work! Before you know it, we’ll put some weights on that nasty bar!
CindyFella: I want to LOSE weight. Not GAIN weight you stupid fag.
Leo DeCrapio: Haha! Speaking of gaining weight, go take a shower. I’ll prepare dinner for us.
CindyFella: Now you’re talking! I’m starving!
CindyFella goes to take his shower.
Leo DeCrapio: Now for the secret ingredient. Fairy God Papa’s magic potion. Cherry flavored... gotta love virgins!
Leo DeCrapio: Hmm… *reads bottles* ‘Lose a few pounds’, ‘I’m a baby whale,’ ‘Toilet Atom Bomb’. TOILET ATOM BOMB! Sounds about right! Hmm… apply one teaspoon… oh what the hell…
Leo dumps the whole bottle into the cooking pan.
Leo DeCrapio: Bon apetit!
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1 comment:
Hilarious!
My fav : "Leo DeCrapio: If I were heartless I’d tell you that you were so fucking fat, you leek black oil out of your sweat glands. Which is good! At this rate, we’ll be having a huge shortage the stuff for our cars and you’ll definitely be in demand!"
the ending is just,...classic!
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