Monday, October 24, 2005

Standing on the line

I’m standing on the line
Looking at the low
thinkin dincha know?

Cos I tell you one thing
You take to the wing
I ask you one why
You take to the fly

I’m standing aligned
standing on the line
where nothing is fine
Cos I’m standing on the line

something ain’t right
Something ya said last night
My sanity went flyin
And now we’re fightin

Cos I tell you one thing
You take to the wing
I ask you one why
You take to the fly

So I’m standing on the line
You can’t seem to see
You can’t seem to feel me

Said you’d do me fine
Then I declined
So I’m standing on a line
Telling you all along
You said something wrong

Cause you don’t see the line
When nothings fine
my glimmers lost its shine
fading time after time

Cos I tell you one thing
You take to the wing
I ask you one why
You take to the fly

I said I don’t know
I said I don’t know
You say go with the flow

You tell me I’m home
Tell me I’m fine
But I’m still standing on that line

Friday, October 07, 2005

Best resignation letter ever!

Dear Mr Barker,


As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel.

After your consistent and annoying harassment of myself and my co-workers during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time. Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen.

I was hired because I know about Unix, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time. You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options.

You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will. You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude.

In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.

1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.

2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your favourites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like Lolita" are not usually viewed favourably by the administration.

3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your mothers b-day", you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please, I hate having to correct your mistakes.)

Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*** with your systems administrators, because they know what you do with all your free time. Sincerely,Ted Brewer

Thursday, October 06, 2005

A girls bestfriend


This is taken off a real brazillian advertisement for diamonds. A forum friend of mine had this as his signature.
Just sharing and waiting to see what girls have to say about this ;)

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Don't quite fit in?

Ever feel like you're not quite part of the crowd. Like even though you are surrounded by people or friends you're still alone deep inside. Imagine how this poor pup feels. She not even in the same species!