Saturday, July 28, 2007

Pick up lines!

hey guys... I'm writing a script for a video... need your advice on which of the following is good... amazing and which are down right crap and should be left out! Comments are really welcome!


GUY
Hey honey, I'm no Fred Flinstone but I can sure make your Bedrock!

GIRL
The only rock I see in the one you call your brain



GUY
Let’s get hammered, then I’ll nail you

GIRL
You’re too ugly for carpentry 101 let alone the Masters class!



GUY
Santa must've come early this year, cause you were first on my Christmas-list.

GIRL
Uh huh… you’re the expert on cumming early I guess…



GUY
Are you a zoo, because you bring the animal out in me.

GIRL
Cool… now make like an ostrich and bury your head up your ass.


GUY
I followed a leprechaun to my pot of gold and he brought me to you.

GIRL
Then why don’t you make like the leprechaun and disappear!


GUY
You look so good baby I wish I can plant you and grow a whole field of you

GIRL
The only plant you’re gonna get close to is a nuclear plant… now go away before my boy friend Hiroshima’s you.



GUY
If your beauty was like gas, my car would never need refilled.

GIRL
The only gas I’m getting is coming out of your mouth… or is that your ass?



GUY
Hey I bought a new couch you wanna see it?

GIRL
Sorry. I’m not a certified psychiatrist. You crazy bastard!



GUY
Your lips look so lonely, would they like to meet mine?

GIRL
I don’t think so. First of all you’d have to remove them from my ass.


GUY
The average person falls in love 7 times before marriage. Baby, you're my lucky seven.

GIRL
Lucky seven? I’m surprised you managed to count past three. Now on the count of three, disappear!



GUY
Do you like ice cream? Good because you look like my favorite topping!

GIRL
If you don’t go away, I’ll scream, alright!



GUY
Is this the Matrix, because I think you're the One

GIRL
If it was the Matrix, I’d whoop you and make you see double.



GUY
Roses are red, violets are blue, how would you like it if I came home with you?

GIRL
Roses are dead, violets will wilt, your bad poetry is gonna get you killed.



GUY
I think you are the sexiest girl in the world!

GIRL
Thanks, my boyfriend thinks so too!



GUY
You smell that.....? Smells like love.

GIRL
Thanks. You smell funky too. But not in a good way!



GUY
If a piece of paper meant sexy, then you'd be a forest!

GIRL
If water meant sex appeal, you’d be a desert.



GUY
Hi, I'm writing a term paper on the finer things in life. Can I interview you?

GIRL
I’m extremely busy. Make an appointment with my secretary. Call me at 1300 – Get lost loser



GUY
Hey Angel, how's Heaven?

GIRL
The same, out of your league.



GUY
If you were the new burger at McDonalds you would be the Mcgorgeous!

GIRL
If you were a burger, you’d be McScurry. Make like your burger and scurry back to the hole you came from..



GUY
Can I borrow ten cents?

GIRL
Why?

GUY
So I can call my mother and tell her I met the girl of my dreams!

GIRL
Here’s five bucks… don’t come back.




GUY
If I was a pancake, I would want you to be my maple syrup!

GIRL
That’s sweet, but I’m diabetic. Go away before I have a fit.



GUY
Hey, officer, give me a ticket, because I'm in your restricted area.

GIRL
I’ll do better than that… I’ll jail your lame ass!



GUY
I was blinded by your beauty so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.

GIRL
I think you were dumbstruck too if you think you’re getting any info out of me.



GUY
I think I'm gay, wanna prove me wrong?

GIRL
Nah. I think you’re perfectly correct. You are gay.



GUY
Give it back!

GIRL
Give what back?

GUY
My breath.

GIRL
Here. Take some mints to go with it.



GUY
I only have 12 hours to live! Please don't let me die a virgin!

GIRL
At least you’ll die happy. You won’t miss what you’ve never had.



GUY
Can I see your hand? I want to tell you your fortune.

Takes hand and writes phone number on it.

GUY
There's your future.

GIRL
Oh my God! Did you just jinx me?



GUY
Where have you been all my life?

GIRL
Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?



GUY
I would die for you...
GIRL
Prove it



GUY
I'm all you've got cutie!
GIRL
Then I must not have a lot.



GUY
Haven't I seen you someplace before?

GIRL
Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.



GUY
So what do you do for a living?

GIRL
Female impersonator.



GUY
Is this seat empty?

GIRL
Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.



GUY
I'd like to call you. What's your number?

GIRL
It's in the phone book.

GUY
But I don't know your name.

GIRL
That's in the phone book too.



GUYI
I want to give myself to you.

GIRL
Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.


GUY
I can tell that you want me.

GIRL
Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you... to leave.



GUY
Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?

GIRL
Yeah, but this time don't stop!



GUY
I think you're the best looking girl in here.

GIRL
Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!



GUY
So, baby, your place or mine?

GIRL
Both. You'll go to your place and I'll go to mine!


GUY
You look like a dream.

GIRL
Go back to sleep.


GUY
I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included.

GIRL
Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

GUY
So, wanna go back to my place?

GIRL
Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

8 comments:

Unknown said...

how mean..r u on stress?
by the way.. why r there always gals being sarcastic to guys? why not the other way around? it could be fun!!
does this mean guys=gentlemen??

Vince said...

well cause its normally the guys who pick up the girls :p

d4isuk3 said...

Yeah ... they're pervyyyy ... see Vince's pick up lines are pervyyyy :p

Vince said...

I tried and tested all pick up lines on smephy...

confirm work :D

at least it worked on her :p

d4isuk3 said...

Yeah! That's where he got all the ideas for sarcastic replies. All of it worked well enough for me to turn him down! XD

Vince said...

hoi! not bad ar... managed to bang me as well as steal credit for my work!

smephy's just shy la... I know she hearts me :p

in a sarcastic and evil way...

*shudders*

Unknown said...

however some of the comments from the girl to the guy r really mean :p
maybe thats how its how its meant to be funny =x

Vince said...

well lame pick up lines deserve mean replies :D