The Rules of Love

This one's not written by me... some dude wrote this on a power point presentation. Its pretty hilarious, so I thought I'd share with ya'll.

We always hear the rules from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are OUR rules :
Please note ... these are ALL NUMBERED 1 ON PURPOSE!!

1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If its up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Saturday = sports. Its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are NEVER going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one :
Subtle hints do NOT work.
Strong hints do NOT work.
Obvious hints do NOT work.
JUST SAY IT !!!!

1. 'Yes' and 'No' are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. Thats what we do. Symphathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything that we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an arguement. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1.You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not BOTH
If you ALREADY KNOW the best way to do it, just do it YOURSELF.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see only in 16 colors. like Windows default settings.
Peach for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, we scratch. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing' we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you're lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you do not want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Please don't ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss topics such as :

• sex
• sport or
• cars

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape.

Thank you for reading this; yes I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, its like camping.

Pass this to as many men as possible - give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as possible - give them an education.