Comedy Screen play

Another repost... from some thing I wrote when I was 15... so please forgive the corniness!!!!!! I was young and naive... and the hormones overwhelmed my brain cells :D

Dave: Hi there! *approaches her table*

Louise: Hi there, yourself…

Dave: Have you got the time? *looks her up and down*

Louise: Sure, it is nowww… *looks at her watch*

Dave: Good then, I’ll buy you a drink. *sits down*

Louise: That was a cheap pick up line *frown*

Dave: I’m a cheap person… *looks into her eyes*

Louise: Gee, I guess that makes you special? *holds his gaze*

Dave: Well, that’s what my doctor told my mom

Louise: How’s that possible? *frown*

Dave: Well, he said to my mom, (*acute accent*)‘Lady, I’ve been in this business for twenty years... never before has a baby I dropped, bounced back into my bloody hands!’ *grin*

Louise: Heh... is that so? *half smiles*

Dave: Sad to say, yes. But hey, you should have seen the model agencies that wanted to sign me up…*exaggerated sigh* but my mom turn them all down

Louise: And why is that, pray tell? *looks curious*

Dave: I think she had against about me front-paging national geographics… so they got an ape to do it instead. I could have been a star. *wistful pout*

Louise: You’re not that bad looking *smile*

Dave: You mean I’m not hideous; just plain ugly?

Louise: Well, I wouldn’t go as far as to…

Dave: Its ok, you can say it I’ve tried convincing gals not go just date me for my money…*sad smile*

Louise: So you get a lot of dates after your cash?

Dave: No, I don’t.. like I said I’ve tried convincing them… but they don’t seem to want to date me anyway *pout*

Louise: Hehe… maybe its your cigarette breath.. *rolls her eyes up mock innocently, smiling*

Dave: No way… I only smoke menthols… I’m not addicted… I’m not hooked on the stuff… I swear… *exaggerated stammering* Its j-jj-jus that it makes me fuh-fuh f-feel safe… *looks around himself paranoidly* and my head aches less…I only smoke when I need to… *Lights ups two cigarettes at a time*

Louise: Hehehe… yea rite! Well menthols are supposed to be bad for your ‘performance’

Dave: That’s not what they tell me at the circus… I’m told that it’s not the way I tell my jokes. They say I’m so good that every time they look at my face, they crack up, I mean they’re so sweet… I think *worried look*

Louise: Well, you do have killer looks for a clown *smile*

Dave: Well, my dad almost died when he saw me… Something about me looking like my mom’s ex-boyfriend… never could figure out what all the fuss was about… Uncle Albert used to visit all the time when daddy was out of town… *eyes innocently open wide*

Louise: You’re being silly…

Dave: I’m not being silly… I’m dead serious…Uncle Albert even used to give me lots of money to go buy some chocolates in the shops near by. He was such a nice guy wish he was my dad Come to think of it, the milkman was pretty cool too! *frown*

Louise: *laughs* So how old are you?

Dave: Me? I’m 20

Louise: Ahh huhh… so, not a teen anymore…

Dave: Hey, I’m not old, I’m a recycled teenager *defensively*

Louise: Do you work? *smile*

Dave: Only when I can’t help it. Well actually, when my wallet can’t help me and my credit cards freeze! *lifts his hands in resignation*

Louise: So, you don’t stay with your parents?

Dave: Nope, I stay with the animals I call my house mates *smile*

Louise: But do you visit your parents often?

Dave: Only when I get caught. Normally, I do a pretty good answering machine impression ‘the number you have dialed is not..’.

Louise: That’s mean! *hits him in the arm*

Dave: I prefer to call it survival instinct, you’ve obviously not seen my dad on a rampage after a few beers *sad smile*

Louise: I’m sorry. Does he get violent? *looks concerned*

Dave: I’ll say! He practically turns the place upside down looking for his whisky bottle… And my mom refuses to clean up the mess. Which leaves…

Louise: You?

Dave: Well, if I’m still sober after that bottle of whisky!

Louise: So you drink a lot huh? *frown*

Dave: God no! I’m a Christian for goodness sakes… *deep frown*

Louise: *blank look*

Dave: Only on Sundays; after church *whispers looking coyly away*

Louise: So you believe in God?

Dave: Well, someone’s got to take all the blame!

Louise: Hehehe. Call yourself a Christian… *leans slightly forward*

Dave: Well, I’ve been called worse things *smile*

Louise: I hear Roman Catholics don’t use condoms… *bites her lower lip*

Dave: Good grief! Of course I practice safe sex!

Louise: Oh, reallyyyyy?

Dave: Yea… I make sure her boyfriends not some 7 footer monster rugby player with a black belt or something before I do anything! *wink*

Louise: Hehehe… So u sleep around a lot huh?

Dave: Only when I can’t afford my rent… Hey do you dance or are those legs for display purposes? *looks at the dance floor*

Louise: Only when cute guys ask me…

Dave: *pretends to look around* Damn, don’t see any Mickey Mouse lookalikes around. I guess I’ll have to do, huh? *takes her hand*

Louise: We all have to compromise some times I guess… *smiles*

*exit to the dance floor*