C'est La Vie

First off, let me apologise to those of you who have been waiting for updates and to those of you who posted comments only to find that everything was removed. I assure you this is not because I disliked or disagreed with your comments. Basically it was a combination of two events. One which is entirely personal and I do not wish to elaborate on. The other is an act of incredible stupidity.

Maybe I should add a disclaimer. The posts here are completely fictional and have nothing to do with ANYONE. Unless you definately know it is about you. (Cue : 1001 emails saying I know this one is DEFINATELY DEFINITELY about me you S.O.B *sigh* )

So if your name is Murphy and you got your arse struck by lightning, tough cookies. Cry me a river in Seremban. They need the water.

Choked on your doggy biscuit while reading a post? Then save your feminist bitchy comments to yourself. These are my thoughts and my words. I honestly don't care. Sorry. Sending me hatemail and threatening to cut my jewels off is kinky and all... but getting a bit old. By all means be up front about it and post in the comments section. I don't delete / edit stuff people write there. (Probably because I have no idea how to!)
So that being said; if you want to take offence to what I said or write, by all means go ahead. You wanna bitch and complain about it. Might I suggest a more condusive place for you. click here

I considered moving my blog somewhere more ... anonymous? But hell... wheres the fun in that =)
Life's been pretty much a roller coaster these days. I'm struggling to keep up my aura of sarcasm and nastiness! Thats how exhausting things have been. (Keep the smug comments like 'you have to try?' to yourselves you evil doers!)

First and foremost, my life has been taken over by an adorable little bitch puppy. Being super uber creative and oozing originality as you know, we came up with an excellent name for the little mutt pup. We named her... *drum roll please*


BABY!

Oh? Shock? Syok?

Definately horror tho! I blame my younger brother for the name (amongst a multitude of other things). Its just as well that we did not name her Lady. Cause she's definately no lady! God only knows how many of my female guests she has molested. I even got one asking me what I've been training the pup to do! As if! More like the pup has been training me la! Plus she sits with her hind legs spread far enough to... lets lose that train of thought. Apparently however, she becomes a lot more ladylike after her first period so I'm told. Odd how bitches have to bleed before becoming lady like. *zing*

Any ways she's been terrorising at my house for around abouts a month now. My mother from being terribly petrified of dogs, seems to have adopted baby as the daughter she never had (apart from Julian... :D ) She talks to the lil tyke as if she expects her to answer. I think my mom would keel over if the pup did answer one day. That would definately be a kodak moment.

House breaking has been fun. For the pup that is. She takes delight in what I like to term as 'poop and run'. She starts pooping, you start running to stop her. Obviously she's been practicing, as she works with ruthless efficiency. *plop* Good game.

With all honesty she has brighten up the house a lot. In piss yellow and chocolate poopy kinda color. Not to mention the flash of brown, white and black scurrying to the dinner table when food is set.

She's also made me reflect alot more. I seriously wonder who is being housebroken. Me or the damn pup. I'm extremely suspicious as to how often the house has to be vacuumed and mopped 'for the good of baby'. We're talking like 4 times a week! Hell.. I never did house work 4 times a year let alone 4 freakin times a week.
Apart from the bundle of furry joy, another animal has returned home. Yea, everyone's favourite Malay who thinks and wants to be Chinese. Azan, Dave. Every time he comes back, theres more of him to love. Ok. To put it simply. He's becoming a fat bastard. Hahah...

Meeting up with him made me realise something tho! That ass is wiser than he looks. Looking back, he said this 'Eventually we all walk our separate paths'. Being 19 and invincible, we figured that our close group of friends, or our 'pack' (our Hoopsquad) as he coined it, wouldn't really fall apart. Today, everyone's kinda doin their own thing. Once upon a time in China, we'd need 3 TABLES in a mamaks. Now we have 3 PEOPLE together at best.

It also made me realise something else. As time passes, there are friends that you keep no matter what kinda crap happens. Then there are those you lose. Either way it all balances up. I remember he said I had a sexual tension with one of our buddies. Would have been pretty funny apart from the fact that the guy is exactly that... A GUY...

Must be his Malay blood kicking in when he made that comment (sorry couldn't resist)

Anyways the mofo left for aussies yesterday, and it will day some readjusting to not having the bugger around. I almost called him up for a beer tonight forgeting he's not around! Anyways Fear9, its so true. We're all now either :

• fat senile
• (or getting there)
• getting uglier

I.E. Aging.

Speaking of aging... he passed me some letters that I thought were long gone. I mean SERIOUSLY long gone. I sure as hell brought mamaries memories back. Ally and Clooney? Lawyer and doctor? Hahaha... too bad you're gonna be the next Bill Gates and I'mma be the next Hemmingway (he managed to off himself properly unlike yours truely).

There has also been something else that has been going on in my life. Its a bit painful to talk about as of now. *Sigh* This one really struck me where it hurt. Its been so long since I let myself do this. So very very long. So I thought I'd take the risk. I mean I was pretty good at it once I guess. Some how I just ended up embarassing myself and finding myself paying for it.

Snooker really sucks man.

What did you think I was talking about. Bon. Bon. :-)


This one's for you sweets.

Pencil Case

I love you from the bottom of my pencil case..
I love the in the songs I write and sing
love you because you put me in my rightful place
and I love the cheques that you bring
cheap never cheap
I'll sing you songs till you're asleep
and when you've gone upstairs I'll creep and write it all down

oh Shelley, oh Deborah, oh Julie, oh Jane
I wrote so many songs abt you I forget your name
Jennifer, Alison, Philipa, Sue... Deborah, Annabelle too...
I forget your name

I love you from the bottom of my pencil case
I love the way you never ask me why
I love write around each wrinkle on your face
and I'll love you till my felt tip pen runs dry

deep so deep
the number one I hope to reap
depends on the tears you weep
so cry lover cry...
cry... cry...

oh cathy, philipa oh Sue
you made me so much money
I wrote this song for you
I wrote this song for you

Jennifer, Alison, Philipa, Sue... Deborah, Annabelle too...
oh Cathy, oh Alison, oh Sue
you made me so much money
I wrote this song for you
I wrote this song for you

Jennifer, Alison, Philipa, Sue..
Jennifer, Alison, Philipa, Sue..
for you... for you...
I wrote this song for you ;)