Part VI

He lay in bed smoking his ciggarettes. Ash was all around him but he seemed oblivious. Strawberry milkshake. 'Whats so great about it' he wondered.

'Its sweet at first but towards the end it turns bland. Just like love. It pretty to look at but you can't hold on to it. It just melts away and disappears. Just like love.'

'So why am I so fascinated by her?' he took a deep drag of his ciggarette.

'Nothing lasts.' his mind drifted.

'Boys come here. I have something to tell you,' his mother sobbed.

'Your bastard of a father has been cheating on me all this while. And now he's leaving us for her.' she choked between sobs.

'Daddy's going away? Don't you love us anymore daddy?' the boy had asked.

His father hung his head low. The boy never took his eyes off his father as he packed his bags and walked out of the house.

His mind wandered again.

'Daddy... I want daddy!' the young boy cried in the hospital bed, feverish.

'Daddy's not here any more for any of us. He doesn't love us any more. When will you accept that?' his mother screamed.

He closed his eyes trying to block out the image.

'Remember Vince, all women want is a good time. Money, cars, a big house, the like. When thats gone everything else is gone too. Falling in love could be the biggest mistake you make,' his father had told him. 'Don't make the same mistakes I did. Learn from me.'

A flash again.

'You don't love me? What about all those sweet things you said to me? What about all those times we made love? Didn't it mean anything to you?'

'I'm sorry.'

She slapped him hard and ran away crying.

Scenes flashed before his eyes. One after another. Each with the same outcome.

'I'm sorry'

Another slap.

'I didn't mean to hurt you.'

A slap.

'I don't think I can make you happy.'

A slap again.

'I don't mean for them to fall in love with me. I just wanted some company thats all. And to be happy for a little while. Why can't they understand?'

'Why didn't I sleep with her? Because she was a virgin?' He had taken virgins before.

'Why?'

'Why?'

He saw her smile again. Heard her laugh. Hot ash fell onto his hand but he ignored it. Then he saw her crying and felt hot pikes stab into his heart.

'You fool! What are you doing?' he cursed himself. His fingers worked by themselves.

'I miss you. Can I see you?' he had typed on his phone.

Send.

All I have to do is click send.

He cancelled it and stood up. Then he went for a run.