The feminist Genesis

"Lord, I have a problem."

"What's the problem, Eve?"

"I know that you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all
of these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious comedic snake, but
I'm just not happy."

"And why is that Eve?"

"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."

"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for
you."

"Man? What is that Lord?"

"A flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vain;
all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger, faster and
will like to hunt and kill things. I'll create him in such a way that he
will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in
childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He
won't be as smart as you, so he will also need your advice to think
properly."

"Sounds great," says Eve, with arched eyebrows,"but what's the catch,
Lord?"

"Well.....you can have him on one condition."

"And what's that, Lord? "

"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring...so you'll have
to let him believe that I made him first. And it will have to be our
little secret...you know, woman to woman..."

Out with the Old and In with the New

I've moved to this blog: www.thehiddenlights.blogspot.com


I guess I should answer some of your questions.


Why did I decide to change my blog?

• I've changed and so I wanted to change my blog
• Wanted to start something fresh and to move on from the past. A lot of the posts there get under my skin when I read them now. LITERALLY!
• to get away from those lick hung bastards who keep spamming that 3 year old post! (half kidding)
  

Why from The Warped Mind to Hidden Lights?

• The Warped Mind was when I was going through a bad bad patch in my life, I've moved on from that patch
• I'm still cynical and pessimistic! That much hasn't changed! Just the degree of it has changed I guess. Just like the concept of Hidden Lights... there is normally a lining to every dark cloud... no matter how fine it is. Sometimes you just don't see it. Trust me. It happens.
  
• The nature of my writing is still dark and twisted I guess. No helping that. But am hoping to move towards a slightly less emo style of writing at least! (sorry Yelena!)
  

Will I be deleting The Warped Mind?

• Nope. I won't be deleting it. It'll stay there. Its like an archive of sorts for me anyways.
  
• I will be transferring SOME of the old stuff here... mostly the stories and some of the more interesting posts... If I am feeling hard working that is ;)

Other questions?

• Jus drop a comment here or drop me an email : cgdevoli@hotmail.com

Here's to new beginnings. Cheers.

The words that whisper

Here I am again old friends
Whispering to myself and at my wits ends
Surrounded again by familiar faces
Of the numbness and hurt there are no traces

Here I am again
Looking for solace from the pain
A thousand ideas floating and floating
Whispering to me and begging writing

Here I am again alone
Feeling pieces of me slowly turn to stone
The words all slowly whisper to me
And I'm no longer conscious you see

Here I am again and nothing matters
And only to the inner voice I cater
No other thought resounds and I am free
As I go on my writing spree

Here I am ... jus a bit later
reading what I put to paper
So this is where its like to be a writer
I hate it... I hate being alone here

Decorating the christmas tree

Slemo challenged me to write this piece a while back... just that I hadn't been able to find the time... I still don't have the time... but I need to do something desperately to take my mind off things for a little while...

There was the scent of ash and brine stone that not so subtly lingered. The heat from the the room was intense and almost suffocating. It was so bright in the room that it seemed to glow bright red.

Then the lights went out.

He sighed. 'Power outage,' he thought to himself. 'Right on time too.' But he didn't need light to see what he was doing. It was an age old routine for him. Decorating his Christmas tree. He reached for the box at the floor and continued.

Christmas. What a wonderful time of the year.

Couples reunited over the holidays. Holding hands while walking down streets lit up with Christmas decorations. Kissing each other under the mistletoe. Making passionate love under the starlight. People randomly hooking up in the spirit of Christmas.

He placed the first of his decorations on the tree.

The food. Yes. How can one forget the food! Always plenty to eat! Turkey, mash potato, mac and cheese... The list of food just goes on and on. Banquets, tables filled to the brim with foods that tease and pleasure the palate endlessly. You could just eat and eat and then some more.

The second of the decorations went on the tree.

Sleeping in on Christmas morning. Lazing around; a comfort of doing something so obscenely simple; yet is denied to us on working days. Lying in bed daydreaming. Just doing nothing at all.

Smiling to himself, he placed the third decoration.

The shopping! Oh! The shopping! Every woman's dreams come true! Huge discounts! Malls opened till late. Buying things that you don't exactly need but get anyway because well... its Christmas. A small splurge won't hurt. We'll just tighten our belts later on. Okay, maybe a little bigger than a small splurge. But its all in the spirit of Christmas.

He rolled his eyes and placed the fourth decoration on the tree.

Then comes the showing off. My gift to my wife cost me 12,000 pounds. I bought my girlfriend a brand new diamond ring for Christmas. Ego masturbation via expensive gifts for your loved ones and the best part? Showing it off to everyone who can see it.

Smirking, he added the fifth decoration.

The poor people. Looking through windows at fancy restaurants where people feasted. Waiting in the cold desperately for any kind of hand out. Picking scraps from the rubbish bins. Their hearts full of bitterness and jealousy towards those who had everything they wanted and more for Christmas.

Yes. Yes. This is more like it. The sixth decoration took its place.

Traffic jams. Overcrowding. Hatred. Blinding hatred. Alcoholism. Robberies. Car accidents. People screaming their pain out for all their lacking during Christmas. People furious at themselves for not being able to get what they wanted for Christmas. Not being able to afford to. Angry at themselves for spending Christmas alone because they have no one else. Bitterness.

The final decoration took its place at the tree.

At that second, the lights came back on. The screams of the damned returned to the room. The heat burned a thousand times hotter than it has been a second ago.

'I guess the break's over. Even the damned deserve a small reprieve. Its Christmas after all. '

Lust, gluttony, sloth, greed, pride, envy and anger.

My seven favorite decorations for Christmas.

'You gotta love Christmas,' and what was once the most beautiful face in the world, lit up.

'Awesome for business.'

One of My favorite poems

DULCE ET DECORUM EST₁

Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind;
Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots
Of tired, outstripped Five-Nines that dropped behind.

Gas!⁷ Gas! Quick, boys! – An ecstasy of fumbling,
Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time;
But someone still was yelling out and stumbling,
And flound'ring like a man in fire or lime . . .
Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light,
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.
In all my dreams, before my helpless sight,
He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.

If in some smothering dreams you too could pace
Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
His hanging face, like a devil's sick of sin;
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,
Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie; Dulce et Decorum est
Pro patria mori.

Compare it with this poem:

Charge of the Light Brigade

1.

Half a league, half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
"Forward, the Light Brigade!
"Charge for the guns!" he said:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

2.

"Forward, the Light Brigade!"
Was there a man dismay'd?
Not tho' the soldier knew
Someone had blunder'd:
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to do and die:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

3.

Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon in front of them
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Rode the six hundred.

4.

Flash'd all their sabres bare,
Flash'd as they turn'd in air,
Sabring the gunners there,
Charging an army, while
All the world wonder'd:
Plunged in the battery-smoke
Right thro' the line they broke;
Cossack and Russian
Reel'd from the sabre stroke
Shatter'd and sunder'd.
Then they rode back, but not
Not the six hundred.

5.

Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon behind them
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
While horse and hero fell,
They that had fought so well
Came thro' the jaws of Death
Back from the mouth of Hell,
All that was left of them,
Left of six hundred.

6.

When can their glory fade?
O the wild charge they made!
All the world wondered.
Honor the charge they made,
Honor the Light Brigade,
Noble six hundred.

Like many things in life, the media glorifies things that shouldn't be glorified. War. Beauty. Living life in the fast lane. And yes; even love.

Look past the cliches. Look past the poster pictures of how things should be. Look at how they ACTUALLY are. Don't forget they are trying to sell you an image, a life style, and ideal. Their versions are basically version that are beyond your reach. They make you want something that you can't attain. They make you dream a little too hard. Put a little bit too much of yourself into it.

Then things crumble around you, when you realise... it was an impossible dream after all.

Confidence restored

Last night was a pretty scary thing for me... Since the debacle at S&S Malaysia last year.. I've not been very confident about my work at all... in terms of writing scripts and plays... yea... I know most of you said it wasn't the scripts fault... but I still feel that if it was a strong enough script it would have pulled through poor actors and a bad director... So I felt the blame was partly mine... if not mostly mine...

My latest script had pretty mixed reactions when I showed it to my friends. I guess the biggest thing to me was that old man and bro didn't like it. Cliched jokes. Cliched writing. And those were among the nicer things my old man and bro said about it!

Imagine how nervous I was when I was about to let a bunch of strangers at LiveShox read it out and then comment on it. People you've never met before, they don't have to pretend to like it. They don't have to mince words.

Wow. This sucks.

Wow. This is the worse crap I've ever read.

Wow. You what a waste of ten minutes of my life.

Yes. My imagination ran wild at the negative comments I would get for the script. Yes. I'm an eternal pessimist! Act surprised at that statement please! ACT LA!!!! =)

When it was almost my turn for my script to be read, I could feel my hands get clammy and sweaty. My stomach felt like it was going to twist itself out of my insides into my outsides! Thats when I text licia.... and she said everything would be ok... that it was a good script and I was worrying too much... I felt a little better... but still nervous as hell....

It was like a wine to my ears... hearing them laugh at the jokes I thought people would think were sick... or lame.... it was music to my ears when people who had a copy of the script were laughing before the readers read the lines... It was close to a multiple orgasm when they expressed shock at the twist at the end... and laughed all the harder....

Looking at the smiles around me... I found myself looking for the one smile.... that mattered most to me... which wasn't there.... and that tainted the moment for me... I wish you were there to watch my rebirth licia... to see my confidence about my writing go throught the ashes and burn brightly again...

Either way... I don't feel so useless anymore =)

To baby Jenhong ... love uncle bince

little feet and a little smile
how beautiful is our first born child
we promise to care for you
and as parents always be true
from small things to big things
from a toy ball to your own personal swing
we promise to provide for you
and more importantly to always love you too

V day~*

Not quite how I imagined how I would be spending it...

not gonna go into details... but jus wanna say thx to a few people who were of big help!

Eunice ~* thanks for all the help with the color scheme and finding little little pictures!
YY ~* thanks for helping me figure out how to move the boxes and finding the template!
B ~* thanks for fixing my script for the repeat for the gradient background
Ming Ming ~* for suggesting the gradient background idea

most of all.. I would like to thank:

GOOGLE!

w/o which nothing would have been possible = =;

Writing and my Licia...

Ok... as you can see from the blog posts lately... I've not been posting much... I've been busy... in the nicest and most amazing way possible...

Jus a few things to talk about really...

First off, I am as of 19.01.09 , in a LDR relationship with Licia. I know some of you are suprised. Yea. Vince? Relationship? Let alone LDR!

Others will probably snicker and mutter dirty old man. I would like to point you in the direction of the nearest cliff and tell you to jump head first down it :) *is only half kidding*

I have some explaining to do I guess.

Its a little complicated between the two of us. Neither of us believe in LDR relationships. And from the first outlook of things, it didn't look like a LDR was in the cards. In the end, I'm super happy to say, we decided to take a leap of faith and have a crack at it! But I get ahead of myself. To be honest, I never saw a relationship in the cards at all!

No I'm not saying I jus wanted to fool around. Me n Licia have always been reasonable close. Bitching buddies. Ranting pals. We chat a lot on msn, and spam via sms sporadically abt small things, big things... basically most things. But I've always viewed her as a good friend. And yes, a little sister even.

So how did we go from sister - brother to bf - gf? I don't have an answer for you. I don't think she does either. It was jus a case of hanging out more and more. Enjoying each others company. I can't speak for her, but it became pretty damn addictive. I found myself talking more and more to her. Texting her when I couldn't see her or talk to her. Enjoying watching her laugh. Feeling helpless but to smile when she did. Reaching to hug her when she looked sad, or looked like she had something on her mind.

When you spend that much time with someone, and find yourself asking when you will see them again, you know something special is going on. Before I knew it, I guess she snagged my heart.

In the most wonderful way possible =)

When me n Licia talked about it, we couldn't explain what really happened either. I guess there is some magic left in the world after all. =)

The complication arises from the fact a few friends were 'interested' in her. They've always suspected I was trying to hit on her. Or something along those lines. I've always maintained she is like a little sister to me. But, like I explained earlier... it jus happened. And I make no apologies for it.

I have no qualms about being with her. And frankly, if you have anything bitchy or nasty to say; say it to me. I couldn't give a flying fuck. But if I find out you said anything to upset or hurt her feelings; I'd suggest that trip down the cliff I recommended to you earlier. It will be far less painful than what I'd do to you ;)

People say big events affect you in terms of mentality, perspectives and outlooks. Having Licia as a part of my life is no different. Looking at the past blog posts and stuff I've written, I feel like I'm reading stuff a different person wrote. I'm tempted to delete most of it actually. But I guess it is better to come to terms with the past than to ignore or pretend it never happened.

I've written 3 pieces for the first time since the S&S disaster. I feel refreshed. And I feel a difference in my writing style. Maybe some of you will notice it when I come out with my new pieces. Maybe you'll think, 'Whatever Vince... its the same old bullshit!'. Maybe it is. But it is MY bullshit. So if I say it smells like roses now instead of ammonia, you have two choices :

1) agree with me and read my writing
2) disagree and go back to your kiddy porn for entertainment ;)

I am ready to move back into my little realm of writing again. With some changes. Of course dark humor is still my forte and fav element. But I will even try to be slightly less emo ;P~ (please note the emphasis on TRY!)

Will be updating a lot more often from today onwards I hope. I'm targeting these few events / competitions this year for now:

1) MPH shortlist story
2) S&S Singapore
3) S&S Malaysia
4) S&S Aussie

I have the rough idea of what I want to write for the MPH competition. I've written my piece for S&S as you can see in the earlier blog post. The rest will come with time. So be patient with me.

I just wanna end this post with a little msg for my baby. I want to steal your favorite line every time I drop you off at your place. 'Thank you baby!'.

Thank you for not being afraid of my dark side. Thank you for accepting it. Thank you for helping me come to terms with a lot of things I didn't want to think about or face in the past. Thank you for making me smile. Thank you for being my muse. Thank you for a wonderful start to the year. Thank you for rejuvenating my ambitions. Thank you for reminding me about the simple things in life that can make you happy. Thank you for making me feel again. Thank you for helping me relearn the meaning of contentment and peace of mind. Thank you for all the things we will learn together and do together in the future.

And most of all.

Thank you for loving me.

I love you dragon =)

We'll make it work. I know we will. And whatever happens baby, I will not have any regrets.

S&S script =)

A dignified middle aged man dressed in a full suit and tie is seated on a chair. Lying on a sofa is a young man dressed in shorts and a singlet.

Middle aged man: So, what would you like to talk about today?

Young man: I don’t know where to start! There’s so many things that I would like to share with you.

Middle aged man: Well then, let’s start from the beginning if you like. I didn’t see anyone waiting outside, so we have some extra time today. That is if it is okay with you.

Young man: It’s fine with me. You’ve become like a friend to me.

Middle aged man: That’s very nice of you to say that.

Young man: So anyway, a month ago, my mother-in-law’s house was burned down in a fire.

Middle aged man: Oh, that’s tragic!

Young man: I know! After all that planning and by some freak chance she left the house to play resurrect-the-salami with some old geriatric!

Middle aged man: I don’t quite follow what you mean...

Young man: Oh! Resurrect-the-salami? After a certain age, a man’s private parts don’t work as well as...

Middle aged man: No... not THAT! Planning? That’s the part I didn’t understand.

Young man: This is completely private, remember! It’s in the agreement! You can’t tell anyone what is exchanged here!

Middle aged man: Yes I am well aware for that!

Young man: Well, business has been REALLY horrendous lately! As you noticed earlier, no one drops by any more. I’m so far in the red that the Chinese have started worshipping me as a Prosperity Deity!

Middle aged man: What does this have to do with your mother-in-law?

Young man: Well, I bought a huge life insurance policy for her recently.

Middle aged man: How did you manage that? They don’t normally give new policies to those so old.

Young man: I had to sleep with the insurance agent.

Middle aged man: Ah! That’s pretty scandalous!

Young man: I’d say! She was quite a looker too!

Middle aged man: See, things aren’t THAT bad after all! You got to sleep with a beautiful woman AND a policy for the old bird!

Young man: I thought that too... until her relative joined in the action.

Middle aged man: A threesome? You lucky dog!

Young man: Jus one problem. It was her 90 year old grandmother.

Middle aged man: That’s very very wrong.

Young man: I know. She’s like a human waxing machine!

Middle aged man: A human waxing machine? What on earth do you mean?

Young man: Well, her bits sag so far to the floor, that all you’d have to do is make her walk around the room a little and she’d end up polishing everything!

Middle aged man: I feel slightly nauseous.

Young man: I almost threw up myself. And I have pretty strong stomach.

Middle aged man: At least you could focus on the hot insurance agent.

Young man: She didn’t take part.

Middle aged man: I beg your pardon?

Young man: She said her granny had been feeling down lately, so she wanted a nice surprise for her. She did say I was really good looking, but she was a lesbian.

Middle aged man: So why didn’t you leave?

Young man: I was desperate for the policy!

Middle aged man: You poor soul.

Young man: Yes, and just when I got over the nausea from seeing THAT naked, I realised that the granddaughter and grandmother had one thing in common!

Middle aged man: They were both good in the sack?

Young man: No they were both into strap ons!

Middle aged man: Okay, I don’t want to know what happened next!

Young man: It wasn’t so bad...

Middle aged man: I didn’t know you swing that way.

Young man: Nah, I don’t. Her grandmother has Alzheimer’s. She poked me in the eye a few times, drooled a little, then rolled over and fell asleep.

Middle aged man: Okay, moving on swiftly from that image. I assume you didn’t get the policy since you didn’t... ‘perform’.

Young man: No, the hottie was a sweetie too. She said she realised how desperate for the policy to be willing to do all this for it.

Middle aged man: So she gave it to you anyway?

Young man: Nope. She said she’d give me a call when her grandfather who occasionally fancied putting from the rough was back in town.

Middle aged man: Let’s not dwell on this anymore. Let’s get back on the topic about your plan.

Young man: Yea, so I thought I’d bump off the mother-in-law and use the money to revive my business.

Middle aged man: That’s not a very sociable act to do. You could hang for murder if you get caught.

Young man: I still might. She moved in with us. I have two teenage daughters and a wife.

Middle aged man: Yes, it must be very hard to provide for four mouths with the economic recession lately.

Young man: Who cares about the money? You don’t know what happen when women stay close to each other do you?

Middle aged man: I’ve not had the opportunity to do that unfortunately. What happens?

Young man: Their biological clocks begin to sync. Soon I will have 4 simultaneously PMS’ing women under one roof!

Middle aged man: It can’t be THAT bad!

Young man: My friend, did you know PMS has been used as a valid defence for murder? At this rate I’ll probably have to kill or be killed!

Middle aged man: Well, its jus for a few days in a month. I’m sure you can bear with it.

Young man: You don’t understand. In my wife’s side, the ‘P’ in pre-menstrual tension has a different meaning from ‘Pre’.

Middle aged man: Oh? What does it mean then?

Young man: Perpetual!

Middle aged man: You’re exaggerating!

Young man: Not at all! They have pre, post and present menstrual tension in her side of the family. So it’s as good as perpetual! Anyway, thankfully my wife left me last week and took the kids with her.

Middle aged man: She went on a holiday?

Young man: She left me for my best friend.

Middle aged man: That’s horrible! You should beat the crap out your best friend.

Young man: I would. But animals have instincts. Nothing much I can do about that. So I don’t put any blame on...

Middle aged man: Instincts? Please! Friendship is precious! Marriage is a sacred bond between a man and a woman. For any man to transgress that bond, let alone your best friend, is unforgivable!

Young man: Man? Who said my best friend was a man?

Middle aged man: Oh please! Don’t tell me your best friend is a woman! That’s so clichéd! You must be making this up!

Young man: No, my best friend is a Doberman. My wife says it pleases her in bed more than I ever could. A little whip cream in the right places and the mutt does wonders with it’s tongu..

Middle aged man: Ok. Spare me the details. How come your daughters left with her.

Young man: She told them I was sleeping with their grandmother.

Middle aged man: Your mother-in-law?

Young man: Yes.

Middle aged man: It was a lie wasn’t it?

Young man: Not exactly...

Middle aged man: How could you?

Young man: Well the sex life with the wife hasn’t been all that great lately and...

Middle aged man: You slept with HER MOTHER? That’s disgusting!

Young man: It wasn’t part of the plan!

Middle aged man: I bet it wasn’t!

Young man: No, you don’t understand. I bought some super strong aphrodisiacs from the pharmacist. Under the counter of course. The kids were at school. So I used the whole bottle to prepare two cocktails.

Middle aged man: What went wrong?

Young man: I heard someone say: ‘What are you doing, asshole?’ and I thought it was my wife.

Middle aged man: I’m sure your wife wouldn’t call you that.

Young man: You’re quite right. But hindsight is 20 – 20. My wife wouldn’t have used such a affectionate term. Anyway I said that I prepared a drink for her, and to meet me in the living room.

Middle aged man: And it was your in-law?

Young man: Yes and the rest is history.

Middle aged man: I’m sure if you explained to your wife what REALLY happened, she MIGHT forgive you. Or at least try to.

Young man: Yes she said she would have forgiven me... for the first three times it happened.

Middle aged man: What? Why did it happen more than once?

Young man: Her mother has no teeth left and wears dentures.

Middle aged man: I don’t see your point.

Young man: Well, when she takes them off she gives amazing blow j...

Middle aged man: That’s sick!

Young man: I couldn’t help myself!

Middle aged man: I’m not surprised your wife left you.

Young man: She called me two weeks ago tho.

Middle aged man: To try and patch things up?

Young man: No. To warn me her father was coming to kill me!

Middle aged man: For sleeping with his wife?

Young man: Yea. Why else? Anyway I was quite freaked out. Apparently he did some time for GBH before!

Middle aged man: Grievous Bodily Harm?

Young man: No. He has a fat woman fetish. Groping Big Ho’s!

Middle aged man: Is that an offence?

Young man: Yes, mostly to the average man’s taste and definitely offensive to the eyes! Anyway he broke into my house a few days ago. Scared the hell out of me! I thought he was going to kill me.

Middle aged man: What happened?

Young man: He’s a huge guy. Maybe 6’4. He stood there, towering over me while I was in my pyjamas. And he was holding a bottle.

Middle aged man: Did he hit you with it?

Young man: No. He asked me where I kept my wine glasses.

Middle aged man: Huh?

Young man: Yea. Said he wanted to talk to me. Wanted to know where I got the aphrodisiacs from. Apparently his wife’s not had interest in sex for a very long time. So he was REALLY grateful to me that I helped rekindle that.

Middle aged man: That’s like REALLY weird.

Young man: I know! He also asked me for some tips, on how to spice things up with the wife. Said there was this one time she asked him to talk dirty to her while she was on top of him. He said the wrong thing though.

Middle aged man: What did he say?

Young man: Get the fuck off?

Middle aged man: What?

Young man: Man United were playing!

Middle aged man: Okay! That I understand! So what happened next?

Young man: I hooked him up with my pharmacist and he and his wife have sex several times every night now.

Middle aged man: Oh? He told you?

Young man: No. He moved into my house. Now not only have my wife and children left me, I have to listening to my father-in-law screaming obscenities while he humps his wife in my kitchen while I’m getting NO sex. I can’t even go to the fridge to get a beer!

Middle aged man: Okay, okay! Let’s try to look for something MORE positive. Surely something GOOD had happened to you since we last met?

Young man: I found a religion.

Middle aged man: That’s great!

Young man: It didn’t last long though.

Middle aged man: Why not? What went wrong?

Young man: Jus some of the stuff they believed in.

Middle aged man: Like what?

Young man: Well for example, the women aren’t allowed to cry out when giving birth to babies.

Middle aged man: That’s ridiculous. Child birth is extremely painful. How could anyone expect that?

Young man: I know. I asked the religious leader the same thing. And he answered my question with a question: ‘Why do women give birth?’ and I couldn’t answer him.

Middle aged man: What was his answer?

Young man: Because it’s painful and they deserve it!

Middle aged man: I see why you left the religion now.

Young man: Left? Hell, that’s what made me JOIN the religion!

Middle aged man: Then what made you leave it?

Young man: I found out the founder was a writer.

Middle aged man: Oh? Was he a science fiction writer? That sort of makes sense. That would disillusion anyone.

Young man: No, he wrote books that promote white supremacy.

Middle aged man: Ah, so you left because you don’t believe in racism?

Young man: Nope, I left because I already have super low self esteem. I didn’t want to make it worse.

Middle aged man: I don’t understand.

Young man: The dude was a black guy.

Middle aged man: That’s kind of twisted!

Young man: I guess. Anyway buddy, time’s up! I’m afraid I have to meet someone else real soon. I’m sorry.

Middle aged man: No problem doc! You’re probably the best shrink I’ve ever met. I always feel so much better after listening to YOUR problems! And to think I was considering killing myself just because I suspected my wife is cheating on me. If you can go through all that shit and still surge ahead in life, then so can I!

Young man: That’s great to hear! I’m glad you feel better. Make an appointment with my secretary outside for next month. Take care till then!

Middle aged man: Thanks again doc!

Middle aged man leaves room and closes door behind him. Young man picks up phone and dials a number.

Young man: Hey sex kitten... what you wearing now? Oh! That’s hot! Yea. I’ll be over soon. Yea. Your husband jus left. Yup! Just like you said, he swallowed those aunt agony stories like a sponge. Will have to come up with more for next month. So anyway, I’ll bring some chocolate and champagne over and we can.....’

Fade to black out.

you know who you are...=)

you know.. i thought and thought again and again about writing this post...

there are those who would misunderstand how i feel about you... and I'd have SO MUCH explaining to do...

about our relationship to each other...

so at first I thought I would avoid writing this post... after all I rarely blog any more...

but i've always.. and I mean always blogged about things that I really really feel strongly about... and tonight was jus one of those nights...

I know we saw each other like 4 months (ok my memory is shit! maybe less than that)

And tonight... after all that time and waiting.. you wanted me to go see people i can see ANY DAY... instead of spending time with you when you're moving to the US... and I'm not sure when I'll EVER EVER see you again... I was SO MAD... when you kept insisting I go see them... when I can see them any time... but was so damn unsure I'd ever see you again!!!!

yea

not

likely

If I had to break a million promises tonight... I would have still come to see you... and I wouldn't regret a second of the time we spent together...

and that's truth is my dear...

I don't regret a mili second of it!

sure... you were tired... and I was tired... and I had to sleep at the freaking road side cos I was too tired to drive home ( after trying to keep ANOTHER promise I made) ... sure I laughed louder than you did... ( I have a crap slapstick sense of humor despite my so call intelligence)

but seriously

talking to you... like no time at all passed between us...

it was such a big pleasure and relief all at the same time...

talking to you.. who were the very very first one who came to see me... when things feel apart between my parents... in that crappy crap field opposite ravi's in ss18... yea... by that swing... ahha... i was crying like a ... nvm... but you were there for me.. and I'll never ever forget.... ever =)

talking to you....

was a smile in the making

watching you smile

and laugh...

reminded me again... why I feel in love with you a little... when I was 18...

even though you were 45 minutes late for our valentines date.... and planned another valentines date after the one with me!! (tsk tsk you playette!!!)

I'd name you... but ... you already know who you are...

and the fact i'm talking about you... on my blog...

when I'll get a lot of pissed of people asking who the hell you are...

I love you... you freakin workahollic...

I'll give you back rub next time... make sure suki doesn't jump on you... or bark at you...

and most importantly...

I will get you a rose...

that hasn't freaking wilted due to the stupid heat in malaysia

(sorry la... I'm not the flower buying type of guy... flattered or not? *eheh* )

you are dear to my heart... and I hope you always will be

after all... theres not many girls I can say that I've known for 20 years...

w/o feeling like i'm about to hit my fourties =)

*hugs you*

please... please please... keep in touch....

love always

(in the end I did think of naming you... but you know who you are RC)

(no... not my programming lectuere RC Ho... whose name sound like.. well.. arsehole...)

vince