Dreaming about the past

She groaned in her sleep. It was another restless night. Bad dreams had plagued her for the past ten years. Her phone beeped incessantly. She moaned and reached for her phone.

'One new message. James.'

'James?!'

She got up quickly. And fumbled with her phone trying to read the message.

'Do not reply this sms. I just wanted to tell you something. Remember how you said you would smile and be really happy the day I got published. Today is that day. So smile for me. Like you used to all the time. Be safe. James.'

'Be safe.... It used to be 'I love you',' she thought and felt her heart ache.

He was always so cold and he used to frown all the time. Except when he looked at me. When he looked at me his eyes would cloud over with warmth. Then he'd seem more human. Not so cold.

'I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life waking up next to you. Just like this.' he had whispered in her ear one afternoon.

She smiled at him when he said that. But kept quiet. Later when she was alone, she cried . Tears of frustration.

'Hello?' she whispered.

'I told you not to reply the sms,' he said coldly.

'I didn't reply. I just called.'

'You're not getting away with this that easily,' he laughed and she relaxed.

'He's not angry,' she thought to herself.

'How are you?' he asked.

'I'm fine. Been better, been worse..' she replied.

'Thats my line. Not only do you disobey me, you steal my lines as well? You're hopeless,' he chided.

'What about you? How are you? Have you been looking after yourself?' she blurted all at once.

'What do you think?' there was an edge to his voice again.

'Drinking alot?' she added.

'Like a fish.' he said curtly.

'Why?' she said sadly. Knowing the answer before he said anything.

'Why do you think?' he countered.

'I'm sorry.' she said, feeling tears well up in her eyes.

'Don't be. I don't need your sympathy.'

'Its not sympathy. I just wished...' she left it hanging.

'That things could be different? That somehow they could work out?' he laughed coldly.

'Yea.' she said meekly.

He sighed deeply. 'If wishes were horses...' he started.

'I'd sell all them horses and buy some beer,' she ended for him.

'Something like that,' he said. She could feel his smile through the phone.

'Are you seeing anyone?' she asked suddenly.

'Its been ten years... I...' he choked.

'Is that a yes or a no?' she persisted.

'No.'

'Why not?' she asked.

'You know why,' he said.

'Because you still love me?' she pushed.

'I... I... I do.' he stammered.

'I have to go now.' she said. Tears flowing down her cheeks.

'We just started talking...' he pleaded.

'I know.'

There was an ackward silence for a while.

'Be safe.' he said simply.

'I love you too.' she said and hung up.

She looked at the ring on her finger. Sobs coming to her unchecked. Her baby, as if sensing her distress began to cry.

'What wrong honey? You woke the baby,' came a sleepy male voice.

'Nothing. I was just dreaming about the past.' she replied, wiping the tears from her eyes.