Wish list

She stood quietly at the gates. Expectant. He didn't realise she was there at first. He turned to speak to someone and caught a glance of her. It didn't quite register in his mind. The smoke from the barbecue pit filled his lungs as he took a deep breath. He stood still a while. The sounds from the party deafening his ears. But all he heard was his heart beat pounding.

He took one step forward. Not trusting his feet. Walking slowly until he reached her. Walking away from the crowd of people he called friends.

'You came,' he whispered. It was more a question than a statement. He reached for her, as if to touch and see if she were real. He watched her flinch as he touched her cheek.

'You invited me didn't you?' she said almost caustically.

'And you wore the same dress you wore last Christmas. Don't you have any other clothes?' he teased.

'I thought you'd appreciate the irony.' she whispered.

'You look just as stunning as you did last year. No irony there,' he replied.

'I can't stay. I just came to give you some thing. Then I'm headed to church,' she said.

'Church huh? Somethings don't change.' In that instance, he felt the gap in the world that parted the two of them. And the distance of infinity multiplied by the rain drops on a stormy day grow between them again.

'Here you go, I hope you like it. Don't open it till I'm gone' she gushed.

'Don't leave just yet. There's food. People. Conversation. Idle things like that. You don't have to leave.' he said, close to pleading.

For a second, her brown eyes softened. Then they turned stone black. 'You know it won't work that way. I need to go now. You go have your fun.'

'Just a little while. Thats all I ask. There's people I want you to meet.' he replied.

'Theres no point in that Vincy. We both know that.' she said, starting to turn away.

He jumped a little when she called him that. He reached for her. Longing to hold her again. Just to pull her close and make all the obstacles disappear. To make things right. Then his hand fell flat.

'Wait. I have a gift for you too.'

She turned to look at him. He walked up to her slowly and kissed her on the cheek gently.

'I love you. Good bye and thank you.'He whispered into her ear.

She smiled a little sadly then turned to leave. He watched her walk towards her car. His heart hurting with each step as she turned away from him. Walking further and further away from his life. He shuddered with the need to call out to her. To run to her. But he turned his back. Walking back to the party.

He never heard her whisper. 'I know. I love you too.'

When he opened the present. It was a simple cloth. Knitted with the word 'Hope'. He clenched it. Put it in his pocket and went back to the party.

There's so many ways to say good bye. A good bye with a sense of finality. I never got a sense of finality with many of my relationships. Perhaps thats what makes letting go even harder. This is my Christmas wish. Finality.

And to spell definitely correct forever.