Puppy Blues part II

Well my pup has been growing. As has her mischief list. I once made the freudian slip of saying of calling her the master of the house. In many ways, she damn well is. :(


Two vets and me holding you down to clip your nails is ridiculous.

Biting the door frames will swifly result in mommy showing you the door.

Just because you have strong teeth now doesn't mean you need to remind us with a nibble every now and then.

Just because Juggie bites you back when you bite him, doesn't mean you can bite me n mommy for revenge.

All the yelping in the world won't save you when you've bitten mommy on her toe.

When I say sit, I mean on the floor; not on my face.

Running out of the house at light speed into the roads and forcing me to run barefooted and half naked through the streets is not amusing me.

There is a place for you to poop. Use it. At worst use Juggie's room.

Jumping high is good. Jumping bloody high is scary. Don't give me a heart attack everytime I find you at the top of my monitor or on top of the dinning table. I'm old.

You leave your poop and pee around half the house. Please don't leave your fur in the other half.

Toys are supposed to last for months, not seconds. Get a freakin attention span already!

You're allowed to sit quietly. Theres no need to be hyperactive 24 hours a day. There's no rule in the doggy heaven book against that. At least theres DEFINITELY no rule against that in the master's handbook.

Not all visitors share my love for you. Jumping and licking them only scares the hell out of them. Be grateful I've managed to stop you from being kicked so far.

Licking some ones toes, then going for my face is a major no no. If I ever get althetes foot on my face, I'll know where to aim my vacuum cleaner.

Tripping mommy over the stairs results in a scolding. For ME! After the natterings about not training you properly, be sure that the newspaper will visit your bottom with impact!

Mommy is a bit slow. When she squeals in what she thinks is a cute baby voice, bear with her. Mistaking her for a dying rodent doesn't mean you can put her out of her misery with a chomp.

When we mix your regular food with meat treats, for heavens sake, PRETEND to eat SOME of the regular food. Don't divide out the treat and eat only that.

As people grow older, they mellow down. I SURE AS HELL HOPE THAT APPLIES TO YOU TOO!

I love my puppy... :D