sigh

I've been in love with you
for the longest time
speech has no meaning
nor word and rhyme

but I will still stand away
far away from you
because I know
I cannot be true

You know me
like no other has
Fromy my broke present
to my sad sad past

No matter what I'd like
no matter how I feel
This feelings
just can't be real

I can't make you happy
and that is the reality
So I'll live my life
in promsicuity

No one happiness
No children for me
The fates just
don't allow that to be

If l love you more
and hated myself less
I'd be less scared
to give you my best

So you'll remain
My smile
My moment
My happiness for a while

But I'll never
hurt you
by telling you
I love you

Fingering 101

First-year students at Med School were receiving their first Anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them: "In medicine, it Is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor. The first is That you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body." For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth." Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it. When everyone had finished, the Professor looked at them and told them, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my Middle finger and sucked on my Index finger. Now learn to pay attention."

Daddy

He sat down on the bench sipping a cola. He smiled as he watched his dog run zig zags around the open park chasing sparrows.

'She's having fun,' allowing himself a rare smile.

The sun blazed down on his skin, warming away the numbness he always felt. He closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation. The long sleeve sweater he was wearing made him, well, sweat. His brown hair glistened in the sunlight.

Suki ran towards him and put her forelegs on his lap, barking enthusiasthicly.

'Oh, so you DO remember me! I thought you were having so much fun you'd forgotten,' he chided Suki.

She jumped onto his lap and licked his face very seriously. Well as seriously as a dog could.

'Oh, feeling guilty now are we! It's fine sweetie. Go run. I know you like it,' he hugged her close then let put her on the floor. She took a last glance at him, barked, and ran to continue her game of catch with the sparrows.

Suddenly heard Suki barking excitedly.

'She must have seen someone with ice cream,' he turned to look. Then, he forgot to breathe.

Her hair was longer now. It fell all the way down to her waist. Her smile, so familiar yet so foreign at the same time, made him choke.

'Suki! Suki! How are you girl? Where's your daddy?' she laughed.

He felt like running away.

'What will I do about Suki? Maybe if I hide, she'll leave after awhile.'

He sighed and walked towards her.

'Hey Mel. Been a while.'

'Hey! Suki's grown so much! And she still recognises me!' she said between barks from a very happy Suki.

'Of course she recognises you. We bought her together after all. She remember when you used to play with her as a puppy four years ago.She remembers the people she loves.'

'You've lost weight. And you've not been sleeping. Look at your eyebags!' she said eyeing him critically while she walked towards him.

'It's just your imagination,' he tried to smile.

She wrapped her arms around him suddenly.

'H..heyyy... what you doing?' he stammered.

'I've missed you. Its so good to see you again. You never called'

He felt every muscle of his body tense and relax all at the same time. The scent of her hair filled his mind, taking him back years ago. He didn't realise it but he was holding her tightly, as if he was afraid she'd disappear.

They stood like that for a while. Suki sensed something very intimate and sat down quietly, watching them. For the whole of two minutes. A life time for an enthusiastic dog. Then, she jumped excitedly on both of them, knocking them to the floor. Right where their faces were accessible for the love she wanted to show them. Love had never been so.... wet; doggy drool wet.

Mel laughed and tried to fend off a very happy Suki.

Lying on the floor he grumbled, 'This was my best sweater. Now I've got dog drool and sand all over it. NO DINNER FOR YOU SUKI!'

'Hey! She's a pu..'

'...ppy. She's 4 years old now. She's HARDLY a puppy.'

'So what? She's young at heart!'

'Good that you mentioned the heart. She's gotten so fat I'd better put her on a diet in case she gets heart problems. Cholesterol you know.'

'Hey! No! She's not fat... she's just... bi...'

'...big boned. Rosie O Donnell is big boned. Suki's fat.'

'Thats mean! She's just nice to hug,' she pouted and hugged Suki who was blissfully unaware that her meal rationing was being debated.

'People are staring at us. Lets get up,' he whispered to her.

'Since when did you care what people thought of you?' she countered.

'True. The sky's really blue today.'

'Yea.'

'Have you moved on yet?' she asked, turning to look at him seriously.

He stared into her eyes. He could never lie to her when she looked at him like that.

'In my own way, I have.'

'You're not answering the question.'

'You're thinking too much into it.'

'I still love you,' she whispered.

He turned to look at her. For a second she could see all the pain and hurt in his grey eyes. He looked haunted.

'I'm sorry. I'm married now.'

'You will always be my first love. Nothing that happened will change that.'

'But it did happen. And that changes everything,' he whispered sadly.

She pulled his arm towards him, lifting the sleeve. He winced at the pain. His arm was covered with cuts and cigarrette burns.

'Punishing yourself won't change what happened that night.'

'It's the least I can do.'

He was about to answer her, when a small voice rang, 'Mummy why are you on the floor? Are you sick?'

'Hi there sweetie. Whatcha doing here?' Mel asked but her son's attention was focused else where.

'Mummy? Can I take her home with us? She likes me.' he giggled as Suki licked his face.

'No honey. We can't do that. The poor man here will be lonely without her.'

The boy stopped and looked at the man. His grey eyes serious for a second.

'Then let's take him home with us too,' he said brightly.

He laughed when the child said that.

'He's a smart kid, Mel.'

'He takes after his father,' she smiled.

The words stung when she said that but he smiled anyway.

'Mommy pleaseeee? Can we take the nice man and the doggie home with us?' he pleaded.

'No honey, his mummy would be sad if we did that. She loves this man and the doggie very much.'

'Oh.' he said disappointedly. Then with the brilliance of a three year old, he asked, 'Then can I have some ice cream instead?'

She laughed and ruffled his brown hair. 'Well, I've got to go. Almost time for dinner. His daddy's waiting for us.'

The boy looked up quizzically. 'Daddy?'

Mel lifted the boy up and kissed his cheek. 'Call me some time. I'll be waiting.'

'Mel...' His tongue went numb. The words he wanted to say died in his throat.'Be safe.' he whispered.

'I love you too. And you too Suki darling!' She smiled at him one last time. 'You can't change the past no matter how much you want to.'

'Yes, but I can atone for it.'

Her eyes soften and misted over. 'Its not just you that's hurting for this atonement. You haven't the faintest idea what you're missing.'

Then she walked away.

He closed his eyes. And he saw it all.

He could see Mel laughing next to him in the car. It was raining.

'Honey, don't drive so fast. It's raining. It's dangerous,' she had said.

'We're late for the tailor appointment. You do want your handsome fiancee to look even more dashing than he already does in his suit, don't you?'

'No I don't. All the ladies will be waiting to snatch you the minute I turn my back.'

'I wouldn't leave you for the second hottest woman in the world,' he smiled.

'The second? What about the first?' she asked sternly.

'Well, I'd have to seriously think about that. I mean she is THE hottest woman in the world. A man could get tempted you know.'

'Then I'll give you reason not to...' she said, leaning in to kiss him deeply in the lips.

He kissed her back. Then turned back to look at the road in front of him. Too late.

He jammed his brakes, but the floor was too wet. The car hit the child crossing the road with a sickening crunch sending the child flying. The child was dead before landing.

Tears came to his eyes. 'I don't deserve to be happy.'

He had left Mel that day. Never wanting to be happy again. He canceled the wedding. He gave up on his life.

Elsewhere, a child's curiosity was piqued.

'Mommy. I don't have a daddy. Did you get me one?'

'Sure you have a daddy, honey,' she said kissing his cheek.

'I've never seen him. Doesn't he love me?' the little boy asked; feeling hurt. Tears welled up in his eyes and he began to cry.

'He would love you. He will love you. You have his eyes and his hair. You look just like him,' she said, soothing him.

'Mommy. Was that man my daddy?' he voiced his realisation.

She was quiet for a while.

'Yes.'

cold feet 2

‘What’s the answer to the question?’ the teacher asked.

‘I don’t know,’ he replied.

‘Now, now, you got the top score for the Sciences in the Midlands in that last module. How can you not know?’ she chided mildly.

‘Someone mixed the scores up.’

‘Give it a try; for the rest of the classes’ benefit.’

He got up and walked towards the teacher.

‘Ask someone else to do it. I’m leaving.’

‘Class just started! Where are you going?’ she exclaimed.

‘Out,’ he said shortly and closed the door behind himself.

‘There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you!’ Anne exclaimed.

‘What’s up? I was just about to leave.’

‘It’s your kid brother. He got into a fight!’ she blurted out.

‘What? Where is he now?’

Anne shuddered looking at him. His handsome face was a mask of fury waiting to explode.

‘He’s in the principal’s office.’

‘Who did he fight with?’

‘That 3rd year. Laurence. Black kid,’ she replied quickly.

‘Where is he now?’ he whispered.

‘In the nurse’s office… but its not what you think…’

‘Thank you.’

‘Wait! You haven’t heard the full story!’ She sighed as she watched him walk briskly towards the nurse’s office. ‘He never changes.’


He slammed the door open. He was about to shout the 3rd year students name; then he saw his face. He took a step back in surprise. The kid’s face was pretty messed up. His nose was bleeding and his right eye was swollen shut.

He grabbed the kid by his collar and dragged him out of the room.

‘Where are you taking him? I’m not done treating him yet,’ the nurse said.

‘For a chat. It won’t take long.’

‘Fuck you. Let me go you fucking wanker.’ Laurence squealed. His voice breaking with panic.

He pushed Laurence against the wall and lifted him to his eye level.

‘If you or your friends come near my kid brother again, I will kill you. Repeat what I just said.’

His right hand flicked the butter fly knife open and rested it squarely at Laurence’s throat.

‘If… if… I go near your kid brother again… you’ll… you’ll… kil… kill me,’ he stammered.

‘Do you think I’m bluffing?’

‘No sir. But you’ve got the wrong idea. It was him that…’ he started.

‘I don’t need to listen to your crap. Remember what I said,’ he said coldly. Then he casually backhanded Laurence and sent him flying into a chair.

He walked towards the office to look for his brother.

‘So, Jules. I saw the pretty face you left behind for me. Wanna tell me what it was about, lad?’ he asked his brother.

‘He tried to take my lunch money from me…’ he started.

‘So you beat the crap out of him?’

‘More or less. He wasn’t so smug when I clocked him one in nose.’

‘Do you feel better beating up someone weaker than you, lad?

‘He’s bigger than me, koh.’

‘He’s got a big brother too you know. I’ll have to talk to him later.’
‘Just talk?’

‘Yes. Just talk. Violence begets violence, lad. Look at your old man. Do you really want to turn out like him?’

‘I want to be like you, koh,’ he smiled.

‘You don’t want to be me. Be yourself. You’ve got a bright future ahead of you. I don’t want to ever hear you say that again.’

‘But…’

‘No buts… no ifs… this is the way it will be. And that’s the way it is. Understand, lad?’ he smiled as he said it, easing the brunt of the force he spoke the words with.

‘Okay, koh.’

‘There’s a good lad,’ he smiled broader and kiss his brother on the cheek.

‘Oh… by the way…’

‘Yea, koh?’

‘Nice right hook. I think you broke his nose,’ he smiled again.

‘It was a left hook. I’m left handed remember?’

‘Right. All the geniuses are eh lad? Study hard. It’s your ticket out of here. Don’t forget that.’

‘What about you, koh?’ Jules asked.

‘I belong here. You deserve to be somewhere better,’ he turned around and started walking away.

‘Koh!’

‘Yes, lad?’

‘I’ll take you with me. I won’t leave you. You’ve always taken care of me. I owe you that much!’ he gushed.

‘Silly lad. I didn’t do it for that.’ His smile widened. Then, there was a twinkle in his eye. ‘Besides, I can’t let anyone else but me, pick on my favourite roly poly.’

‘I won’t leave you, koh.’

‘I hope you’re wrong, lad. I hope you’re wrong…’ he patted his brother on the shoulder and walked away.

‘I was looking for you. But it looks like someone else found you before I did. Someone bigger and stronger by the looks of it,’ Ryan chuckled.

‘Yea. With a wrench. You think I look bad? You should see him,’ he replied with a smile.

‘Your kid brother beat the crap out of mine. How are we gonna even up on that score?’ Ryan asked.

‘I’ll leave him be. And you’ll leave my brother and me alone.’

‘That easy?’

‘We can fight if you really feel its necessary,’ he said blandly and waved his hand.

Six Asians came into view from a distance. They were all wearing the Nottingham University jersey.

‘Oh you brought friends too!’ Ryan laughed and gave a sharp whistle.

A dozen well muscled black kids walked up beside Ryan.

‘I see I’m not as popular as you are. But it’s who knows you not who you know that matters.’

‘Are you casting doubt on the quality of my entourage? Your skinny yellow kids aren’t going to do you much help. Don’t matter how old they are,’ Ryan hissed.

‘So you beat me up today. Put me in hospital. I’ll recover and find you the next day. The difference is: I won’t put you in hospital. I’ll kill you.’ He reached into his pocket and flicked the butterfly knife between his fingers.

‘That’s a nice butterfly you have there. Can I have a look at it?’

He threw the butterfly knife at Ryan who caught it deftly.

‘Whoah! Easy there! I could have gotten cut! This thing’s bloody sharp,’ Ryan complained.

‘You’ll need it.’ As he spoke a large group of white kids with baseball bats came into view from behind the trees.

‘I’m more popular than I think.’

POSSE :D

One day the Lone ranger is out riding the rage on his horse, Silver. Silver was an incredibly smart horse. However later that day they were ambushed by Indians.

Bound and helpless the Indian Chief walked up and spoke to the Lone ranger:-You very brave, so before we kill you,we give you 3 wishes, one a day for 3 days, when done, you die. You make first wish.

The Lone ranger considers and says-For my first wish, I want to speak with my horse.A bit offended that their gift was taken so frivolously they reluctantly agree and the Lone ranger moves next to Silver strokes his noes and whispers into the horses ear.When finished Silver tosses up his head and gallops off. This confuses the Indians until Silver returned with a very long haired red headed beautiful woman stark naked in his saddle.

At this the Indian's chuckle -White man want last night with woman.

The next morning the Chief appears in front of the Lone Ranger:-What Wish number 2?

Again the Lone ranger says-I wish to speak to my Horse.

Now curious the Indian's grant this, and again the Lone ranger gently strokes Silver's nose and whispers into the horse's ear. As soon as he finishes Silver again gallops off.Now the Indians wait to see what the horse will return with. Sure enough near sunset, Silver returns with a gorgeous naked black haired woman in his saddle.The Indians are a bit insulted that this brave man seems to have only one thought on his mind.

The final morning the chief again approaches the Lone ranger-What want for 3rd wish?

Again the Lone ranger says-I wish to speak with my horse.

Having been thru this twice before the Indians bring Silver over, only this time the Lone Ranger grabs the horses bridle, looks the fore RIGHT in the eye and says-For the last time POSSE! P*O*S*S*E! POSSE!