Suki

All too often, we get caught up with the gloom of daily life and we forget about the little things that make us happy. That make us smile. Well, mine's not exactly little. She's quite big boned. And obviously she's female from the fact I'm calling her 'she'. She's got soft fur. Yes. Fur. Not hair? Do I look like I'm getting any damn you? :)

• Suki
• Suki pao
• Fei Por
• Pup-pup-puppehhh
• Suki Darling
• Sweetie

She has more pet names than me in our family. In fact the only pet name I have is... never mind that. :p


So heres a few times my little sweetie's made me smile.

My chest is heavy

I was sleeping on night (wait or was it morning? I'm a vampire after all) and it felt really hard to breathe. My chest felt really heavy. So I woke up, dreading that I had smoked to much and came down with some kind of stupid lung infection. Then I saw her.

30 pounds of sleeping puppy on my chest. Snoring.

I scold her: 'Suki! Bad girl!'

She wakes up. Looks at me. Wags her tail. And goes back to sleep promptly.

Since when did 'Bad girl' equate to wagging the tail!


High class puppy
I was having insomania (yes as usual) and on the computer. Normally she sleeps at my feet if my brother is not around or on my brothers bed when he's sleeping. I look at my feet. She's not there. So I go to my brother's room. She's not there!

So I go into my mom's room. I had switched the air conditioning on early so that when I finally did sleep I'd have a nice cool room. Guess what. There she was. Right in the middle of my mom's bed. Snoring. With all four paws in the air. Sleeping like a human.


Shelf climber
I was on the computer (when am I not on the computer?) and suddenly I hear whining. I can hear the whining but can't seem to find where Suki is. So I look around the room. Under my table. Under my bed. In my cupboard? No way!

I open my cupboard to see a very fat puppy squashed into a very small cabinet. She had knocked out all my clothes and made herself comfy in the top shelf. Only problem was: She didn't know how to get down.

So I carry her down and put her on the floor. She is eternally grateful and licks me as a reward. Five minutes later she is on the top shelf again! This goes on for about 40 minutes until it finally struck me to close the cupboard. (yea I'm slow... bite me!) I figured she was just bored and wanted me to pay her some attention.

I told my brother that she'd climbed to the top shelf by herself. He didn't believe me. HELL I DIDN'T BELIEVE ME. So I opened the cupboard and wait patiently. True enough she falls for the bait. I holler for my brother and he comes to see that she's stuck on the top shelf! HAH! Drugs didn't make me delusional.

Later on we figured out why she was climbing the shelf. Her favorite toy teddy was on top of the shelf. So she was trying to get to it. But I still think it was her way of attention whoring with me. *shrug*


Racist puppy

Yea you heard me. My puppy is racist. I brought her to the burger stall to buy some burgers ( why else would you go to a burger stall? *rolls eyes). There was a Chinese girl, a indian uncle and the two malay chaps cooking the burgers.

Indian uncle: Wow... pretty dog... *pets Suki*

*Suki wags her tail at the praise and licks his hand*

Chinese girl: Wah! So cute leh! *pets Suki*

*Suki wags her tail at the praise and licks her hand*

Malay dude: Comel ya anjing engkau *shakes Suki's head*

*Suki bites the crap out of his hand*

I was lucky Suki doesn't really bite that hard. It was more of a warning bite I guess. But the dude was asking for it la. Treating her so roughly.

Now when I told my brother about the puppy not liking Malays, he did exactly what I had planned to do. He gave Suki two treats.

I wonder where she gets her racism from ;)


Fat Dog run... Fat man run too

Ok. Heres a story about how I got some exercise for the first time in months (years?). My brother came home and I just got out of the shower. So I wrap my towel around my self and bring Suki downstairs to greet him.

Only thing is. When I go downstairs I don't see my brother. So I open the door and go out to check if he's outside. Normally Suki comes outside with me and goes all barmy when she see's my brother. Herein lies the problem.

My brother had ran upstairs to the loo as he had the runs... thus the running? Nvm that. Anyway, he was in such a rush that he left the gate open. I notice it ONLY after I let Suki walk out with me.

I look at the open gate.

Suki looks at the open gate.

I say: 'Don't even think about it Suki'.

Suki thinks about it.

Suki does a brave heart run : 'FOR FREEDOM!!!!'

I do a Spongebob meets Speedy Gonzales and run after her.


I did catch her... after streaking half my street with my flabby brown ass and my little... er... forget that.

Suki of course thinks its all a game and wags her tail excitedly when I catch her and licks the living daylights out of my face.

Two hands on dog.

What was holding the towel?

*shudder*


ok... so that last story wasn't true ;)

but hey... spongebob meets speedy gonzales was such an amazing concept I just HAD to make it up.

later peoples :)

Numb

Its 4am and I still can't sleep. So I thought I'd share something with all two of the readers of this blog. :)

What is the worst feeling in this world? I don't mean just bad feelings. I mean the absolute worst feeling that you can ever feel.

Some people will say getting your heart broken. Other people will say losing. To me the worst feeling in the world is feeling numb.

Broken hearts can be healed. You're not always a loser (unless your name starts with a Q and ends with a h... shush Eunice... dont give away the secret)

These things are in passing and you will get over them sooner or later.

But what is it like to feel absolutely numb. No happiness. No sadness. You're just a blank page with nothing written on it.

You stay awake, trying to figure out what is wrong. Your friends try to comfort you. Your family stands a firm pillar of support. And yet, you feel nothing. No motivation. No goals. Nothing.

You can't cry because you can't feel anything. You can't laugh because you don't enjoy anything. Smiling is a facade you put on so people don't worry about you.

You sit down in the mirror and look at yourself. You're indifferent to how you look.

Then you feel the sweet bite of the razor on your soft skin and you shiver. There is something that you still feel. Pain. It is bliss compared to the emptiness that is your life.

You live life to breathe and find some reason to be alive. You don't actually live. You just exist.

Is it really worth living like this?

I don't know. But I haven't a choice. I have more friends than I deserve. And a family that loves me more than I am worth.

So I'll pick up the pieces of my life. And I will live.

Maybe one day. I will feel alive.


Dance on my skin;
silver blades of emotion.
Slither slowly,
and do not pause.
Let the crimson tears
weep for the eyes
that do not know how to.
Graft the meaning
of life.
A reason to live.
Cut away the emptiness
and send shivers of emotion
into my spineless spine.
Rip into my mind
and make me feel
anything
something

but

numb.

the ward

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director how doyou determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. 'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.

''Oh, I understand,' said the visitor. 'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.

''No' said the Director, 'A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?'

Bad news for Fabulously Rich (or richer) People!

So you’re fabulously rich. Or is fabulous an understatement? Well, here at r2r we’ve been doing a little research about people like you. Guess what? We’ve found your Achilles heel! Here are the top 5 things you don’t want to hear when you’re swimming in the big bucks!

I want a divorce!
When you’re rolling in the moolah, the last thing you want is a gold digging little twit to marry you, only to divorce you in a few months for a fat divorce settlement. Look at poor Mr Rupert Murdoch. He lost 1.7 billion USD to his wife in June 1999. That enough to feed several starving African nations! (Well not really… but you get the idea!)

It’s YOUR baby!
Nothing says bye bye to money quite like someone claiming to have your baby! You’re now officially in charge of the well being of a child due to one night of hide the salami with a random stranger. Way to go!

Daddy, I’m in rehab!
This is like a trend amongst the brats *cough* children of rich people. Daddy (or mommy) I’m in rehab. I have so much money I just had to do drugs and alcohol cause nothing else is fun! If alcohol and drugs aren’t expensive enough for you, the repeated bills for rehab will put a small dent in your over sized wallet.

The stock market just crashed!
The stock market crashing often leads to other types of crashing for rich people. Rich people crashing their cars into very unmovable walls. People crashing out of windows from very very tall buildings. People crashing some money of other people to pay debts? Ok, the last one was pushing it but I have a word limit to meet!

We found your sex tape in the motel!
Paris Hilton anyone? Ashanti? Chua Soi Lek? Okay, so you guys don’t know the last one. Rich people don’t care about the welfare of the country. But my point is, the last thing you want splashed all over the papers is your little bondage session with your pet bunny (not the animal, the costume). This stuff can ruin lives… and cost you a bunch of money buying all the pirated DVD’s of it being distributed!

So there you have it! The top 5 things you don’t want to hear when you’re swimming in the moolah! Now keep your nose clean and stay away from these big no no’s! Don’t say we didn’t warn you first here at r2r!

play poem

You're more than just food to me
a hamburger? A french fry
When you're not around
I get so hungry, I cry and cry

I love you so much because
you taste so good and smell nice
but it would be even better
if I could put the blood in some cold ice

Its not just the food
I say again
When I'm sad,
you take away the pain

When I'm happy
you make me smile
just by being there
all the while

I'm in love with you
you're my Happy Meal
Sizzling steak, nasi lemak
you're my lover, the whole deal

and I love you

Bad day

Today was a bad day.

1) I overslept for class
2) I lost my wallet
3) I can't sleep
4) I'm thinking about deferring a semester

I just have one more month to go. Then I am free. Yet the month seems like a giant leap of faith that I cannot handle.

I have to get back into a working frame of mind.... falling apart at the end of a race just won't do.


Won't you come back
and say its all a lie
Won't you hold me close
And kiss me while I cry

I tried running
through the dark empty
I tried crawling
as far as I could see

I tried to be normal
and not just myself
I tried to write a book
A put my name on the shelf

I'm stuck
Won't you help me?
I'm lost
Won't you save me?

I tried to live with
with out you
I tried to forget
the world without you

I lived to see you
I lived to love you
Now you're gone
I just don't know what to do

I tried to move on
from where I had been
But the world means nothing
With out you Low Sher Lynn

Eunice Koe

I love thee
eunice koe
although your a
bitchy little hoe

you call me fat
and say I can't touch my toes
you bitch and complain
about what god only knows

you say I look
just like my stuff monkey
and my sense of humor
wouldn't please a stuff donkey

you complain and complain
that I'm so damn emo
some times you even ask
if I'm a homo...

but you make me smile
like no one has
you cheer me up
from the start to the last

you touch my heart
in your special way
when you're kind
in your own simple way

you make me feel whole
when everythings broken down
just by being there
by being around

if I could choose who
I could fall in love with
I'd choose you
and not regret a single bit

I heart you very much
Eunice Koe
I'm writing this
just so you'll know :)

I know I'm supposed to have quit writing and all... but I wrote this... which is nothing spectucular... for Eunice Koe... who has kept me sane through this maddening times... who has kept me in one piece... when I was about to fall apart into a million pieces...

I love you Eunice Koe...

BFF

*hugs*

last script

There was a loud smashing sound as the vase shattered to pieces after being hit by a baseball. The two children huddled together in fear. Then he staggered into the room. 'Who did this?' he thundered.

The younger brother began to cry.

'It was me', the elder boy said, staring straight into his eyes.

'Don't you dare glare at me like that. I beat the insolence out of you.' he said. 'Kneel there and don't move,' he said, walking to get his weapons.

The younger brother began to cry even harder now.

The elder boy moved towards his brother. 'There's nothing to worry about. He doesn't know it was you. Go to your room. There's nothing for you to see here.'

'He... he...he's going to hurt you.'

'He'll try to. But I'm tough right! I won't utter a squeak. Cause it doesn't hurt. Just watch and see. Now go to your room.'

The man came back. He smelt of cheap liqour. 'Choose,' he nodded at his hands. They were carrying a wrench, a cane and a belt.'

'Give me the wrench.' he said coldly.

'Why the wrench?'

'Because fuck you. Thats why the wrench.'

The alcohol rushed to the man's head. And he lifted the wrench, and smashed it viciously into the boy's face. He built up a frenzy of hits on the boy's body. Striking what ever was closest with all his might. Then he watched the boy go limp. Unconscious.

The younger boy had not left, he was peekin from between the curtains. Too afraid to move. Too afraid to help his older brother. He wept silently. His brother had kept his word. He hadn't made a single cry of pain through the brutal beating he received.

Then the man turned to look at him. His shadow overpowering him. 'Don't grow up to be a loser like your older brother. Look what he made me do? I've got blood on my best shirt. It was you he was trying to protect was it?'

'No... No...It wasn't me! I didn't mean it!' cried the younger boy.

Then chose. Wrench. Belt. Cane. Choose one.

No.. No.. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooo... I DON'T WANT TO!

'Nooo... nooo... please... not that...'

'Wake up Jules. Wake up. Its just a bad dream. You're okay now. I'm with you.'

'Koh! I had that dream again. He was beating you. And beating you. I thought you were dead.'

'I'm still alive. Sore here and there. But alive.'

The elder brothers face was bruised badly. His left eye swollen shut. His nose had been broken and still dripped blood.

'Koh... we should run away... leave that man... he's evil...'

'We can't Jules. He's our father. And we can't leave mom with him.'

'Get dressed. We have to go to school. We'll miss the bus if we are late.'

Julian quickly packed up his school books and got dressed.

'I'm ready Koh.'

'Silly boy, you tied the knot for your tie to fat!'

'I'm just using the one you tied for me yesterday! Its not MY fault you don't know how to tie a tie!'

'You little roly poly, how dare you talk back to your big brother!' he lifted his younger brother into a hug and kissed his cheeks. 'You're gonna grow up to be a little heart breaker you know. That is if you ever lose that baby fat!'

'I'm not the one with the fucked up face. Baby fat or not everyone things I'm cute! I might even get laid before you do koh!'

'Little cats and dogs don't count when you get laid Ju,' he patted his brothers head affectionately.
'What ever Koh... Lets go.'

'Ok. You wait for the bus. I'll start walking.'

'Walking? Why are you walking?'

'Dad didn't give us enough money for two fares. I'll just use the money for food instead of the bus. Don't worry its not that far.'

'I'll walk with you.'

'No you WON'T. These streets aren't safe. I can't protect both myself and worry about you.' saying that he walked past his younger brother towards the dimly lit streets ahead.


'Well... well... Look what the cat dragged in. Nasty cat by looks of it. Did your face in good mate.' a tall white kid said.

He had noticed them following him 15 minutes ago. Maybe he jus didn't care. Maybe he wanted to fight them. Whatever his reasons were, he was surrounded by 6 white teenagers.

'What do you want Steven? I've got no time to play with you and your little pets.' he said.

'Uncourteous. Most Uncourteous. We're here to help you. Fix that guy who fixed your face so pretty.'

'Very unlikely. Hilarious in fact. Enough of the stand up comedy. What do you want?

'To pay you back. I know you boned Louisa. She was my girl. You had no right to.'

'You've got it all wrong. I didn't bone her. She boned me,' he chuckled.

'You bastard... get hi...'

'I wouldn't do that if I were you. Baseball bats are nice and all. But they lack a certain class.' He reached into his pocket and drew out a butterfly knife.

'How do you fancy it? Getting gutted is a slow but painful way to die. So you break a few bones of mine. I'll make sure you never see another morning sunrise. I'll make sure your faces are even uglier than they already are. Or maybe you'll scar well. Claim to be some war veteran. I hear the chicks really dig that.

'There's six of us and one of you.'

'So which of the six want me to paint them a new face?'

'Fuck you... this isn't over yet. Watch you back. I'm coming for you.'

'Don't fall over yourselves running away from little old me maties. Would hate to see any of you get hurt!' he smirked.

'Man... you..' he choked on his words as the butterfly knife whistled inches away from his jugular and stopped.

'Mate are you CRAZY? You could have KILLED me!

'I know. I'm regretting it already.'

'Thats not funny! Anyway you never change. Scaring off 6 white boys with one tiny shiny knife.'

'The very same knife that had you pissing your pant a few seconds ago.'

'Why did you try to stab me with that damn thing any way... we're cool aren't we?'

'Because you're an idiot. You snuck up behind me. I was just trying to protect myself'.

I think its time to call it a day :)

I've been pondering on this for the longest time now. Talked to eunice about it for quite a while. I also had a long talk with my long time bestie Az about this. They made me realise alot of things. One of them is that I no longer want to write. Yes. I'm quiting writing. No more scripts. No more short stories. No more poetry. Why you ask?

You have to understand that writing has been my crutch for the past decade or so. When I was unable to voice or tell people how I felt. I turned to writing for release. Effectively it made me forget how to communicate my hurt... my happiness... my feelings... making me effectively a social vegetable...

I need to learn how to communicate with people aside from writing. I need to talk to people who are real. Not just internet friends. Most of all I need space to redefine myself as an individual. Reset my priorities now that writings no longer in my life.

Of course I'm not quiting writing for good. Maybe a year... or more... I don't know yet. Depends how fast I become a normal person again. Who can lean on friend the normal way for help. Who can talk about things openly.

Unless you guys have a better suggestion :)

then I'm all ears