One bloody christmas

He smiled as the last of his friends waved good bye. The night was finally over. He felt a tinge of sadness but a huge sense of relief. It had gone well. He had survived the night. Nothing went wrong this time and he hadn't made a fool of himself.

He closed his eyes and saw her smiling. It was the same smile he knew 10 years ago. 'Time has passed.' He thought to himself. 'We're not the same people anymore.' Sighing, he reach for a drink, pouring himself a large shot of gin.

He had felt the distance between him and his friends tonight. The span of four years had passed since he had fallen sick. Since his illness, he had kept mostly to himself, allowing himself only the pleasure of seeing them every Christmas.

He felt a pang in his heart. A sudden panic. 'They're growing further and further apart. I'll lose them at this rate.'

You have me.

Quietly he drank deeply. Taking his fill and letting the alcohol work its magic on him.

'Finally I can relax and be myself.'

'I'm not the joker. I'm not the light of the party. I'm not anything. Just a washed out drunk thats about to hit thirty.' he reached for the glass and poured another shot.

She had looked wonderful tonight. He smiled slightly to himself. Her brown eyes were gentle as always. But there was something different about her tonight. A glow about her. A presence of iron will. He couldn't place his finger on it.

We are special you and I. Different from the rest.

He had asked her how it felt to be living their dream. Being a lawyer. Their dreams. It felt like another lifetime. They had both wanted to be lawyers. He had seen himself in the smart suit, the ugly wig and an aura of invincibility in the court with his confidence and intelligence.

He laughed bitterly. 'I hate crowds. I'm uncomfortable even with my own friends now. Let alone strangers. Some lawyer I would make now.'

We don't need them. We have each other.

'My own friends.'

'I can barely reach them now. When we talk. Theres some kind of barrier. Something between us.'

'Time for medicine.' He thought bitterly.

Don't take it. You know you don't want to.

He would be as sick as a dog tommorow. 'Medication and alcohol don't mix,' his doctor had warned him many times. Cursing softly he took the tablets and downed them with another shot of gin.

'Here's to amazing health,' he said deep with irony.

We are fine, you and I. If you would just stop fighting it.

She had been serious when she talked about her work. Explaining things patiently; as if to a child. Quipping little details that he listened to her intently.

'Thats it. Thats the difference between us.'

'She's grown up.'

You are better than she is. I know this.

'I have been sick,' he said outloud; hating himself even as the excuse poured from his lips. Frustrated now. He flung the bottle against the wall. Listening to it shatter.

He picked up the piece of the broken glass.

'Like my dreams,' he thought.

Together we will make our own dreams.

'I don't want to listen to you. Go away.' he half pleaded.

We are one you and I. There is nothing you can do to change that.

'I am better now.'

Better because you have been listening to me...

'Shut up. I don't want to hear it. Shut the hell up.'

'I love her. She's always kept me safe. When I needed help. She was always there.'

She is a stranger now. You don't know her. But I know you.

He reached for his hand phone. Desparately dialing the number. Then he hung up.

'She can't know I'm sick. She can't.'

It would mean nothing to her.

He saw red then. A felt that familiar ringing in his ears. He knew it would come soon. He would fade into the background. An HE would take over again.

'No. I am fine now.'

Relax. It only hurts for a little while.

He screamed.

'I have been sick... I have been sick...' he wailed helplessly.

Blood dripped from his left arm. Covered with a dozen deep cuts. His right hand was gripping several shard of broken glass vehemently.

It only hurts for a while. Rest now. I will take care of you. I promise.

'I'm not sick anymore. I'm not sick...'

Blood began to pour from his wrist.

'I will get better. And you'll be gone.' he cried hugging his feet in the fetal position.

We are one you and I. Rest now. I'll take care of the rest.

When he came to. He awoke to a room smashed and battered meticulously. His white shirt was stained blood red.

'I have been sick.' he thought. Then passed out into oblivion.

A hilarious one :)

Suki :D

Ok... these pics are way over due... I have more of her but I'm lazy to post em... blogger takes for ever to upload pics... here are the cuter ones... the rest of them are just of her sleeping any way :p

so steph here are the pics... now where are you :p

Dying in sevice...

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names with small American flags mounted on either side of it.

The seven year old stared at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, "Good morning Alex." "Good morning Pastor," he replied, still focused on the plaque.

"Pastor, what is this?" he asked.

The pastor said, "Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service." Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque.

Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear, asked, "Which service, the 8:30 or the 10:45?"

300... and a story :)

I thought I'd do something a little special for the 300th post... so here's a story... its gonna take a while to finish I think... I've not really had much inspiration for stories of late...

Strawberry Milkshake

He choked back the angry words that came to mind when he thought about her. Bile rised to his mouth and he wanted to spit badly. 'So you don't care? You're just gonna let your dad decide everything for you?' he asked her angrilly.

'I don't have a choice. I don't want to talk to you anymore. Thanks for ruining my day. Good bye,' she said, putting the phone down.

He slammed his curled up fist into a wall. It throbbed with a piercing sensation that calmed him down a little. 'Damn it! Why did things always have to be so freaking uphill?' he cursed to himself. 'Damn it all. I'm just gonna call the whole thing off. The hell should I care if she had this shitty attitude.

He went for a run. Like he always did when he was upset or angry. It wasn't long before he was squatting and gasping for breath. But the anger was still there. Cursing again, he slammed his fists once again into the tarred floor. He grimaced a little and felt blood trickling down from his knuckles.

She was so beautiful. In every way. Her hair was a soft auburn brown with bangs that rested just below her eye brows. Habitually, she'd pout and blow them out of her eyes. Her eyes were a honey brown that beamed an innocence he'd never seen in women. He was enchanted the moment he saw her. He was cursed.

'Hello. Is this seat taken?' He asked flashing his best smile.

'No. But what do you want?' she asked pointedly.

'I'm not a salesman. Don't worry. I won't try to sell you anything you don't want,' he laughed.

She stared at him quietly. Not reacting to his joke.

'You're from Taylor's A levels right?' he added quickly. He had seen her textbooks. They were the same as his when he was in college.

'I'm your senior. Let me buy you a drink to welcome you to college,' he said, getting up to walk towards the counter.

'You don't have to. I'm just about to leave anyway,' she said.

'Its fine. You can have your drink to go if you want. If you're in that big a hurry.'

He bought her a strawberry milkshake. The same drink he noticed that she had just finished a few minutes before he went up to talk to her.

'Here. Your favorite!' he said smiling broadly.

'How... how did you know?' she asked, truely stunned.

'Lucky guess!' he laughed.

They had talked then. From morning till late afternoon. She liked movies, fast cars and shopping. Quite typical of a teenage girl. He found that he knew just how to make her smile and laugh. More than that, he found himself laughing along when she laughed her infectious laughter. They had little in common but so much to talk about.

'How can you not believe in God?' she asked astounded.

'I've had a tough life. No God has ever come to bail me out. No God has ever been there to make me smile. I can't see or touch Him. It easy if you're me,' he said quietly.

'Thats so sad. I want so badly to show you how great God can be. If you just believe,' she said enthusiastically.

He smiled, touched by her sincerity.

'I have to run now. I'm way late for work,' he chuckled looking at his watch.

'Work? I thought you said you were my senior!' she frowned.

'Oh, I am,' he smiled. 'By give or take 5 years. I finished my A levels in 1997,' he laughed.

'You're shameless!' she chided.

'I might be. But I'm definitely glad I spoke to you. You're amazing!' he said leaning in to kiss her on her forehead.

'Here's my name card. I had a great time talking to you. I hope we get to do this some time again. Take care hun,' he said walking past her.

'He was too well dressed to be a college student any way,' she muttered to herself.

A few weeks went by. He thought she'd never call. But fate was funny in that sense.

'Hello. Vincent?' she asked.

'Hello. Yup. Vincent here. Who's on the line?'he said, thinking that the voice was oddly familiar.

'Its Yuki,' she said expentantly.

'Yuki?' he asked blankly.

'You bought me a drink. An... an... and conned me into thinking you were my senior!' she stammered. What if he doesn't remember me. She thought. Its been nearly a month. I shouldn't have waited so long to call.

'Oh hi hun! How ya doing? I thought you'd never call!' he said and couldn't help but smile.

'I thought you would call. Its not right for the girl to do the calling,' she said irritatedly.

'Hahha.. what old fashioned thinking,' he grinned. 'Well hun, do tell me. How am I supposed to call if I don't have your number?!' he laughed even harder.

'Oh. You don't have my number.'

'I didn't know your name till 30 seconds ago either. You never told me!' he explained.

'Oh..' she said a little helplessly.

'How are you? It been ages. Are you up for a drink tonight?' he asked casually.

'I can't go out at night. How about tommorow afternoon. I have class till 12.' she said.

'Some of us are working you know! We have to earn a living!' he groaned.

'Oh. I see,' she said not knowing what to say.

'Well I guess I could slot you in for lunch. But it will have to be a quick one!' he smiled, sensing her disappointment.

'That would be great!'

'Lunch it is then. See you at the same place. Sharp 12. Don't be late!' he said, hanging up.

Nearing 300th post

woo... this is the 299 post for this blog... in the past 3 years... not all that impressive really... I had spurts where I blogged lots and lots... and periods where I abandoned this blog to kingdom come...

a lot has happened over these three years... I think a lifetime has passed me by in fact... but lets not get all emo and soppy over it... its over... so heres to another three years and three hundred blog posts...

oh... the reason I'm writing so crappy is cause I just finished my freakin PR assignment... after all that formal writing... I'm too lazy to write proper sentences with proper punctuation and sentence structure :p

tmr's gonna be a early day... gotta head to the printers bright and early to get my stuff printed before the masses come to print their stuff...

for ONCE... just ONCE... I'd like to not have to do last minute work for my assignments... blah...

sleep time... later days people

edit: btw... why the hell has my header for the blog shrunk? its bloody pissing off after all that time I put into making the bleeding banner... only for it to shrink and look even uglier than it originally was... who do I sue?!

Lifes too short to be stuck in the wrong job!

This is probably one of the most creative advertising campaigns I've seen... effective and hilarious too... enjoy!

Spoils of love

The quiet of autumn beckons
and summer's dream has gone
Sit by me and watch the sun fade
As we wait for the early morn...

As we cuddle close
and brace for winters cold
Stay close by me
and in my arms, you I will hold

Safe from the world
Safe from reality
Far away from tommorow
And its cruelty

People say that
Tommorow is but another day
But our paths diverged
And we went our separate ways

I say love
You say infatuation
The two words, like me and you...
hold no future... no relation...

honey brown
and albaster white
We stand separate
like day and night

We tried to hide it
We tried to keep it quiet
Being together meant everything
when our emotions were fired

but

I eat with my hands
You eat with chopsticks
The world would never smile
On a couple with this mix

I believe
in freedom of thought
Your family was brought up
with the love of God

I say 'saya'
and you say 'wor'
We're just another victim
to add to the racial score

They say that everything
seem right in love's toil
But you were water
and I was oil

So come ye vultures
Malay, Indian and chinese,
Rips away what love we have
Take all that you can seize...

Hold me honey...
So hold me close tonight
Cause we'll be meeting tommorow
Alone and cold... in the morning light

I'll hold you tight
I'll wipe your tears dry
I'll always love you
But this is good bye...

It went spectacularly

MEDIOCRE

yup... we got a crappy fourth place... nothing to shout about and super disappointing... I'm not one to complain about decisions but I can't help but feel cheated in this case... I have no idea how the other two teams beat our video... if you want to take a look, and judge for yourself... go to www.drive4food.com and check out 2nd and 3rd place... assuming you've seen our video.. if not check out kuachi too...

pretty much an anti climax to be honest... but I expected as much... at least i know my peers... the future of videos recognised our video as one of the better ones... its the future that matters... not the past...

any way.. its sunday and I'm dreading the week ahead... I'm way behind on assignments... I've just done 1 out of the seven assignments due... its gonna be a bad week...

on the bright side, term is coming to an end and christmas is on the way... I'll get to catch up with all my old friends on the 28th... its like our yearly gathering... haven't made up my mind if I want to keep it exclusively to my old friends or to mingle them with my new friends too... maybe I'll have two barbecues... *Shrugs*

tmr I have a presentation to do... so that means I'll be dressed to the nines... Thamboo's presentation and he expects the full formal out fit... sigh... I hate wearing my suit... but I guess I bought it for a reason...

I'll get some pictures maybe and post it on my blog :)

later days people

Well well well...

Guess what! Tmr's the big day of truth. We'll see exactly how well or badly our video did in the competition... we've been told that we're top five in the competition. So we're guaranteed some cash in the pocket... its just a matter of how much.

The thing is, 5th prize is RM500 and 1st is RM5000! Thats like ten percent of the big cash bonus if we don't get first place. Gah! Wait its not 'like' it IS 10%. I'm slow at maths :P

I'm swamped with assignments. This weekend will be a miserable catch up with over due assignments weekend. I have 2 Feature Writing Assignments, 1 News Writing Assignment, 1 major PR writing assignment and one presentation to prepare for PR writing. So thats 5 all together. I'll make sure to make the best of Friday in that case.

Friday's the day I'm gonna get rich! I have a strong feeling about it :D. Well okay, actually I'm nervous as hell about it. But no harm in pretending to be confident right? Its also Tak's b'day party on Friday... the 21st was his birthday... happy belated bro! :)

Suki's been messing up the house big time. And I've been cleaning up after her big time too. Its okay la! I love her to bits :).

I've bugged my brother once again to bring back the adaptor... so pictures should be on the way... fingers crossed...

to end it... heres a little conversation me and my bro had on face book about Suki :)

Julian M. Edwin wrote
at 8:45am

family house = owned by dog
cause = you and mom!
solution: you idiots should learn how to pick smarter pups -.-

Vincent J Edwin wrote
at 3:07pm

she = poop
you = clean poop
she > you :)

later people... wish team Kuachi and me good luck on Friday :)

Warning! Obscene material!

heres the latest invention in the market... confirmed 110% to chase away any uninvited visitors like mother in laws and other foul beasts that may taint your door step... check it out!

http://img502.imageshack.us/img502/8610/mooninggrans1jy.swf

Beijing 2008

ever wonder how they came up with the logo for beijing 2008?

well let me enlighten you :)


First they got some bloke to stand blindfolded against the wall....


Secondly they shot the crap out of the dude....


The dude dies and falls down..


And they just added the words Beijing 2008!


There you have it! The Olympic logo for Beijing 2008!

The Chinese are geniuses!

Drive For Food Competition

hmm.. I meant to blog about this earlier.. but I've just been sleeping too much XD! Any way last
Saturday we went to Penang (3rd november) for the Star Drive For Food competition. Its a video competition for the Star. Thus the name Star Drive for.... you get what I'm saying. :p

It was heaps of fun... well for team Kuachi (Joe, Jian Hong and Kok Hoong and myself) it was any way. We stopped by a couple of places in Perak, Ipoh. A few of the restaurants we wanted to visit were closed, but we improvised and did our best with what we could. It was quite a long drive all the way to Penang. All in all, it took us about 12 hours. Shooting plus driving I mean. We spent the majority of our time in Perak, with four different locations spread out in Perak.

Our concept for the video was quite simple. Two guys get harassed by the Star Ninja, while they travel to Penang looking for good food. Kok Hoong came up with the basic idea, and I improvised along the way.

The hardest part about this video was probably the vegetarian restaurant 'Heong Pun' scene. We arrived there around 3.45pm. They wanted to close by 4pm. We had 15 minutes to choose our food, shoot, eat and get out of the place! Luckily we managed most of the scene in a few takes. The place was well creepy as well. Really dark and old. It reminded me of some run down jail in UK!

update: ok... its been like 3 weeks since I wrote on this post.. the results are out on friday... tommorow is the last day you can vote... go to www.drive4food.com to vote. Choose kuaci and penuts (ryan and u jinn's group) and a third group of your choice.

We'll be attending the prize giving ceremony on Friday

thank you to all of those who have voted for us for your support and your time.

If you haven't seen the video yet, go to the website to check it out... its one of our better videos and I'm proud of it considering the time constraints we had to produce it (24 hours).

Wish us luck :)

Filling the gaps

Its been a week or so since Suki became a part of our family. There's both lighter and darker moments to share with you. And yet again... no photographs! Someone go beat the crap outta my lil bro or remind him to bring the adaptor back if you want pictures!

Well. We definitely know how to pick our pups. Our last one thought the world belonged at her feet. This one believes in leaving the world at her feet.

Our latest addition to the family was probably raised by cats in her first few weeks of her life. Yup. You heard me. Cats. Why do I think so? Well I don't THINK so. I KNOW so.

Firstly, when you call her name. She sits her ass down and refuses to acknowledge you existence. Unless you have food! Catlike? Definitely! :(

Secondly, she has a special skill no other dog has. She CLIMBS out of her play pen. Yes. CLIMBS!. C-L-I-M-Fucking-B-S out of her play pen. Dear God! Do you sense exasperation? No... its DESparation! I need SOME sleep. I know I'm a chronic insomniac and all but I still sleep on the occasion. Since this mutts moved in, my sleep's moved OUT!

At sharp 7am, normally the time I finally fall asleep; she starts whining her tail off. She's hungry! At 7 bloody AM in the morning! If I give in, I don't get any sleep. I go downstairs and feed her. Then she's all energised and wants to play. If I leave her alone. She whines, this time; energised by her food; EVEN louder. If I ignore her; she climbs out of her play pen and runs upstairs to wake me up close and personal. I CAN'T FREAKING WIN!

Another thing I discovered about her is she likes oasis songs. I secret weapon I intend to fully utilise. She wags her tail and falls asleep when ever I play Champagne Supernova (my favorite song of all time!). So I'm gonna get a CD of it. With like, twenty or fiffty repeats of champagne supernova, and GET SOME SLEEP!

THATS THE PLAN!


PRAY FOR ME THAT IT WORKS!

This just proves that we have become too dependant on computers.

Are you male or female? look down!




























































I said LOOK DOWN... not SCROLL DOWN!

Public Apology

I Vincent Jeremiah Edwin, hereby publicly apologise for all the jokes I've made about ugly people... er... I mean for getting our new pups name wrong. She has been baptised Suki, which means 'beloved'. And beloved she will be :)

I know I promised photos... but my brother forgot to bring the hp adaptor to pc thingy... so I can't post them :(

gomen...

back to PR Writing :/

A special day =)

Today we welcome a new member to the family. Not one to replace the one we lost, but an additional one that we will love and cherish nonetheless.

Her name is Milky. I wanted mocha... but mom said mocha sounds like 'mo kar' as in no family in Cantonese. Then I wanted Latte. Mom says it sound 'keling'. So I gave in and let her name the dog. Milky. I'm allergic to freaking milk. This better not be some kind of omnious omen or something!

Her fur is creamy with patches of brown. She's plain adorable.

She is also a pissing machine. She pissed like 9 times in the span of 2 hours. I think they should have sold her with some kind of warning. Or a least a mini mop to go with her. I've been wiping piss from the floor for the past hour and half... its ridiculous.

I'll post pictures of her tomorrow when my brother brings back his adaptor for hand phones. My mom's got pictures on her hand phone but I can't transfer it to my PC without the adaptor.

Trust me.

She is gorgeous.

At least she is to me and my mom. Who cares what YOU or anyone ELSE thinks. So when I post her picture... just shut up and agree she's gorgeous. There's no room for arguement or dissent!

Picture funnies :D

Master spends too much time on MSN... Assume the position for PC attack!




Kitty sandwich :P...


Poor cub :(... Shampoo is evil and must be avoided!



This t-shirt gives very sound advice if you ask me :)


Stealing golf balls can be bad for your man hood!



This is SO true in Malaysia... pretty cute too :)
What will I be when I grow up?







Stupid Americans. Actually I don't know if its American. But it looks and sounds like something an American would bitch about. So I'm calling a square a square. :p


Again showing how Americans bimbofy everything. :p
forwarded from jessy :)

Simply Vince

Alright I had a bad day... I don't know why I had a bad day... it was a perfectly normal day today. Except something was missing. I argued with my brother over what I'm still not sure. I argued with my mother over something I can't put my hand on. I smoked a pack of 20ties in 4 hours after not smoking for a whole day. I'm pissed off. I'm frustrated and I need to vent.

so here's my vent.

Please don't act like you know me

Don't pretend
you know it all
When I'll rise and when
I will fall

Don't act
like a friend
I don't need
your helping hand

Don't feign
affection for pity's sake
I don't need it
thats your mistake

Don't sham
a friendship
I don't need things
that are skin deep

Don't play
with feelings you don't understand
Cause I have been
and always will be... my own man.

Learning

Yesterday I learned two very important lessons. I'm 27 and still learning new stuff... who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks? *grins*

The first was responsibility. I did not drink the whole night cause I knew that I had to drive Laura home. Me not drink? Thats like a fish out of water right! It wasn't that there were no chances to! There were plenty of chances to but I chose... yes CHOSE not to... I care for Laura a lot... and it would break my heart if anything were to happen because I went on a binge and drove her home... An amazing feeling to be honest... its been a long time since I cared about anything enough to stay in control of my drinking... I even turned down temptations when the workers at 'Rack' asked me if I wanted a bucket of Tiger... I was suchhhhh a goooooodddd boy... ROLFMAO... :D

What can I say? I heart Laura more than drinks :)

I also learned yesterday that you can have lots and lots of fun without drinking. Is it possible you ask! Yes I tell you! Not a drop of alcohol and I was singing, cracking jokes and doing silly things. It was a natural high. Unless they put some thing in the shisha! ;P

I had a funtastic night last night... and I wanna thank Ryan, U Jinn, Fairuz for a great night out. Especially Laura for just being Laura and so cool to hang out with.

A rare happy post? Well today and last night, I was a happy boy :)

Hot Boy's Night in D'Haven

Greetings ladies and gentlemen, I'm about to present to you: HOT BOY'S NIGHT IN D'HAVEN Be warned ladies and gentlemen, this is NOT for the faint hearted! First of all, we had to choose our location for our hot night!


D'Haven! A place for unspoken pleasures and desires! Ryan and Joe found it the perfect location immediately. With its moody lights and cheap *cough* wonderful drinks menu. It was the ideal place! Recipe for one HOT BOY'S NIGHT in D'Haven

Daiquiry (how the **** do you spell it?... trust U Jinn to have a girls drink I can't spell!)

Some Bloody Mary!!!! (Nothing like a drink that curses a 'saint' to kick off a night of sinful passion!)

Lots of Martini Cello! (Again a girls drink thats why I can't spell it... what ever happened to graveyards? The damn place doesn't serve graveyards... I'm gonna report them to the alcohol police!)
TONS of long island tea (for me... Ryan's unfortunately more Chinese than Indian and can't hold his alcohol... the veakling!)

And you have your ingredients... now all you need are gay.. err... happy people to come to your HOT BOYS NIGHT! Me and U Jinn got into the mood almost immediately!
No alcohol involved even!!!

First off... we exchange tips on giving good hea... err... swallowing oblongish objects...

First of all.. you need a FIRM but GOOD grip on the peni... err... item...


Then put it in your mouth! Duh!

Then put it as far down your throat as possible.... DON'T BE A NOOB LIKE U JINN AND CHOKE! (I'll give him more practice with this area later on XD)


As you can see U jinn gives good hea... pleasure... Ryan's glazed sexy eyes are such a turn on!

If your man complains about teeth er... bad head... err.... a lousy effort... take a smoke... look him in the eye... and say... 'ISH DAT MYE PROBREM?'

This is the smile you should get... Ryan did a much better job than U Jinn did... did you know the clever little Chindian can tie knots out of cherry stalks with his tongue! (ooo... imagine the things he can do for you!)

As the night went on... I made my move... I said:

HEY YOU!

Will you take my cherry? :D


I literally got my mind blown away

The following pictures have been censored unfortunately... but we all went home VERY satisfied... especially U Jinn... not every day you get a cherry...



so that concludes our HOT BOYS NIGHT IN D'HAVEN .... thank you :p

from debs

While she was "flying" down the road yesterday (10 miles over the limit), a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and
love, asked, "What's your hurry?" To which she replied, "I'm late for work."Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.

The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet wide."

"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked.

She said, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."

Traffic Ticket $95.00
Court Costs. $45.00
Look on the Cop's Face............... PRICELESS

What you want

Humans are strange in nature. We all have wants and we have needs. Needs being things that are necessary for survival and wants are what we merely desire for recreation or pleasure. In more than one occasion, we choose what we want over what we need.

I'm stuck here. With a choice between my wants and my needs. To the logical mind, it should be an easy decision. But somehow it isn't as straight forward as it seems to be.

When you yearn for something enough, doesn't it become a need? To mentally and physically yearn for something that emotionally and physically completes you is a need isn't it? Lets look at an example. Recreational drugs. To the casual user they are a want. They do not need it to function properly. Now if you were an addict, then the drugs would be a need rather than a want.

Cigarettes? A want for the social smoker, a need for the chain smoker.

Love? A need or a want?

The line is so thin between the two. I for one cannot see it.

I want more focus in my life. College isn't providing me that. Does that mean I drop out again? When I'm this close to completing my education.

Too many distractions. Too many complications.

I need this diploma. I need this job at NAGA.

Everything else is a want. And a distraction. Therefore they do not exist in my world for now.

There is a time for everything. My time to shine in my education is now, it is the last chance I was given by fate. I mustn't lose focus now, regardless of what ever else is happening in my life.

Its all a distraction. And to be ignored. That's how things should be. And will be.

Puzzled

I can't put it together
how it used to be
and how it is

the pieces don't fit
and the cut at my skin
when ever I touch them

I can't place the you now
with the you I used to know
somehow every things changed

I don't know how I feel
I don't know what to think
the pieces don't fit together

They cut heart deep
where did the warmth go
where did the love disappear

Its a puzzle of life
and I just can't
Just can't figure you out

A puppy is for life, not just Christmas

A puppy is not just for Christmas.

You hear stories about people buying puppies then abandoning them when they grow up. I cannot comprehend how anyone could do this. It’s been six and a half months since we lost our 'puppy'.

I still remember when we first bought her. She was the naughtiest pup of her litter. The hyperactive one that tried to escape through the back door into the kitchen; while we were trying to make our choice among the puppies. We saw her and fell in love with her instantly. She was a pretty little thing; with a large black patch near her bottom, a brown head that was parted with white streak in the middle.

On the way home, she whined a lot, perhaps out of fear; perhaps she just didn't fancy being stuck in a box! We opened the box for her and she peeked at her new surroundings. She seemed amazed by cars that we passed and leaned intently with her tiny paws on the windows, looking outside.

When we reached home, we let her out of the box and she explored her surroundings with unsuppressed excitement. In fact, she was so excited; she decided to 'baptize' our marble floor much to my annoyance. This would be a routine for the next few days and I practically had a mop and soap water ready twenty four hours a day; seven days a week. Toilet training her was quite the monumental task.

I remember when she discovered the stairs in our house. They were bigger than she was and she wasn't very happy about that fact. She tried several times, rather unsuccessfully to scale those dizzy heights, resulting in her falling firmly on her bum. I'd pick her up and check if she was okay. Nothing seemed to be bruised except for her little ego. She didn't give up and took it as a game. Within a week, she managed to climb those steps, and there was no peace in the house. She'd be running up and down the stairs without a care, and we'd be so worried she'd fall and hurt herself.

I remember this one time I had my girl friend over and we wanted some quiet time together. Our little pup would have none of that, sniffing and licking my girlfriend at every opportunity she found. I didn’t find it amusing that my girlfriend smelled and tasted like dog drool. In the end we put her in my brother’s room with a toy and left her to play. The ploy lasted a good five minutes before she started whining. We ignored her for a good ten minutes. Then the whining stopped. Around an hour later, we opened the door to let her out, and she ran out happily wagging her tail contentedly. She had dealt punishment to us for locking her in though! There were three mangled books on the floor!

She was a quick little puppy too. This one time I came home late and my mother had saved me one of my favorite dumplings. I was holding it with one hand, relishing the thought of sinking my teeth into a delicious, crispy, golden brown dumpling when I realized something was very wrong. The dumpling was missing from my hand! I could hear the scurry of little paws running for her life, making her escape with my dumpling. By the time I caught her, the dumpling was history. She managed to look smug somehow and it took me so long to catch her that it was too late to spank her. Yes I'm an overweight fatty and she's a lean mean dumpling stealing machine!

Speaking of spanking, our little puppy was having trouble adjusting to being allowed upstairs. She turned the bottom of our stairs into her personal toilet. My family and I often stepped into her little surprises. One yell of her name and she'd know we'd found her hidden gift. Quicker than you can say 'Bad girl' she would run and hide under my bed where no one could reach her. Every once in a while she would peek to see if anyone was waiting for her to spank her. If there was she'd zip right under the bed again. Eventually she would instinctively know we've forgiven her, and she'd come cuddle up to us as if to say sorry.

When she was slightly older, we used to take her for walks. There was this one time, we found out how feisty our little pup really was. I was walking her past this house when all of a sudden she tried to run towards the gate and started whining when it was out of her reach. Curious I let her head towards the gate. Then out of no where, came a humongous Doberman. My little pup was not afraid at all in fact she was jumping towards the Doberman fearlessly. Well good for her. I had enough fear for the both of us!

She always had a tough time telling friend from foe. To her, everyone and everything was a friend! She'd never make a good guard dog. Firstly she is too cute to frighten anyone. The only thing she'd probably do is lick the burglar into submission when she catches one.

Our little pup also had a thing for thunder. She'd begin by barking at it, as if to scare it away or tell it to shut up. Failing this, and the thunder continuing to get louder and louder, she'd run to the closest pair of arms or lap she could find to hide from the big bully. Same deal with fire crackers and fireworks, in her book, they were huge bullies that the comfort of her owners lap could chase away.

Coming home was always a joy for my mother, brother and me. When I came home alone, she would be waiting there, all excited and wagging her tail frantically. I'd open the door and she'd jump, knowing I'd catch her and smothered her with kisses. When my mother came back from work, which was normally late, our pup would bark and lick me senseless if I was asleep, as if to tell me to open the door for her. She'd sit by the door patiently as I unlocked it. Then she would raise her front two paws to be carried to see my mother. Her tail would be like a little helicopter rotor. Rotating mercilessly.

She was also an avid DVD watcher. She would sit down on top of the sofa, keeping my mother company as my mother watched her DVDs. And when my mother was done, my mother would switch of the light and our pup would know it was time for bed and follow my mother to bed.

When our pup was a year old, it was time for her to be spayed. Our hearts almost broke from hurt when we saw the condition she was in. Almost a quarter of her fur had been shaved off. She had five massive stitches on her tiny frame and she was shivering. She recognized us when she woke up from the anesthesia and wagged her tail weakly at us.

We regretted having her spayed almost immediately. She would whine in pain and discomfort and my mother would stroke her head to soothe her and let her know we were here. She was too weak to eat, so we syringe fed her glucose water for two weeks. Our normally hyper little pup was cage-bound and didn't protest because she was so tired and in too much pain. It took her around three weeks before she fully recovered. Then she was back to her old hyper dumpling stealing self. The relief we felt was immense.

Our pup normally slept with me; cozying herself at my feet and the bottom of my blanket. However, whenever she heard the air conditioning turned on in my mother's room, she would migrate. Not to greener pastures, but to cooler pastures!

Our pup had one bad habit that turned out to be a nightmare for me and my family. Being tiny, she could squeeze under the house gate. She also had this habit of running after cats. A few times, she escaped while we were going out of the house to chase a cat. Normally this would mean me chasing her down the street half naked and barefooted. I’d catch her, and then I’d spank her for running away.

This one time, a day after my birthday, March 13^th, she ran out to chase a cat. As usual I ran after her and thought nothing of it. Just as I was about to catch her, she got chased by two stray dogs and she ran so fast that I couldn’t catch up with her. That would be the last time I saw her; running frantically for her life.

We drove for nearly five hours looking for her. Then we thought she’d know the way home, so we gave up the search as it was 2am by then. She never came home! We walked around the whole of SS19, posting missing posters and handing out 2000 flyers for our missing pup.

The three of us spent days driving around SS19 looking for her. We even got a group of close friends to help us comb the area looking for her. No luck. We got several phone calls and tip offs, but we never came close to finding her.

There was this one time she was spotted by a resident of SS19 running up and down the street for two days. The resident said she heard our pup crying in the middle of the night, whining out of loneliness or perhaps because she wanted to go home.

I can’t begin to explain the turmoil of feelings that we went through. Every time we got a phone call, our hopes would rocket. When we found out that we were too late to find our pup, or that the dog found wasn’t our pup, the reality would sink in and we’d weep for her loss.

It was like our family was ripped apart all over again. The house was awfully quiet. When it rained, we would worry that our pup would be afraid of the lightning. When there were festivals, we’d shudder when we heard firecrackers.

My mother would hear barking in the middle of the night, and sent us out, looking for our pup. Rain or shine my mother would walk around asking strangers if they had seen her. After being depressed, she still refused to give up hope.

Six and a half months later. The story is still the same. We drove around random areas looking for our pup. When we see four white legs on the road, we’d stop to check if it was our pup. We continued to post her pictures in forums and websites in hope of someone spotting her.

We have kept all her favorite toys and snacks outside the house, hoping that she will recognize her scent or the toys or our house if she passed by. We all have a ‘Missing Dog’ poster on our cars. We even posted an advertisement offering a reward in the Star but to no avail.

We’ve done all this, and yet there is a sneaky feeling that we have not done enough. That we missed out something. Maybe this article is what is what was missing. She was with us for two very special years and we treasure the time we had with her immensely. However if you’ve seen her or are keeping her, please give us a call (0122809296). She’s not just for Christmas, she’s for life.

Happy Birthday to you

Happy b'day Lynn... may have been years since we've talked without yelling at each other... but I still wish you the best...

have a great day

love

vince

O Rose thou art sick.
The invisible worm.
That flies in the night
In the howling storm:

Has found out thy bed
Of crimson joy;
And his dark secret love
Does thy life destroy

This poem's basically about a rose, a beautiful thing losing its 'life' metaphorically speaking. The worm represent a dark force or entity that robs the rose of its 'life'

To be frank IACT's prom movie competition played the 'worm' to my ambitions as a script writer. Not to say I write beautiful things, that would be a conceited thing to say, and totally unlike me.

But it did crush a lot of hope I had for the night. One of the main reasons I went to the prom was to watch the video awards. Frankly speaking, it was a disappointment. None of my videos won anything. Well not the video we had high hopes for. Which is okay. I can accept that if we were beaten by better videos.

But if you ask me this was not the case. It was a night where slapstick comedy won over pseudo intelligent jokes and comic. I don't want to say too much about the winning video, except congratulations and well done. Your video was funny. There's no taking anything away from that.

But winning best actor, actress and script? I'm sorry but that was a to be frank, ridiculous. The best actor was a ghost who just wore make up and went boo. Even I could do that and I can't act at all. The winning actress' act comprised of screaming, screaming and more screaming. Very talented. And what script was there for a slapstick comedy? Could some one enlighten me as to this?

Frankly, the whole thing has put me off writing scripts. Big time. I'm demotivated and disenchanted with the whole thing. If this is the kind of humor that wins awards, then I rather not win awards. What talent does it take to write a slapstick comedy? I should have come up with a three stooges them and perhaps that would have won.

I'm pretty set on not writing any more scripts. At least not for the Malaysian public.

Muhibah?

Racial harmony? Racial integration? What are my thoughts on it? Bitter. I'm in a rather special position in society you see. I do not belong in any of the major or minor races in society. I am of mixed racial descent. I am Chinese Indian. Or Chindian, as the society prefers to refer to me as. Kopi susu, Chikeling, Kelingchina; the racial slurs go on endlessly. Fun stuff isn’t it, having ridiculous nicknames for your racial descent? I think not.

Anyway I rather think of myself as a hybrid, or even an outcast rather than a specific race. The fact is I don't belong with the Chinese and I don't belong with the Indians. I look Malay but do not speak a word of Bahasa Malaysia. I’m in between worlds and that’s the truth of it. Truth to tell, I don’t fancy being labeled as any race.

In our society, we have prejudices against each race. The Chinese are hardworking business men that only care about money. The Indians are todi-drinking wife-beaters; who drive trucks. The Malays are just plain lazy and prefer doing stunts on their two thousand dollar motorbikes to anything remotely constructive. With images like this, would anyone in their right mind choose to be labeled as one of these races?

Sadly the answer would be yes. The reason? People feel a need to conform to society. Deviancy if frowned upon. If you do not belong to a class, you do not belong to society.

We hear fairy tale stories of the cultural mixing pot that Malaysia is. Intermarriages between the races and abundant peace and harmony amongst the different races. But is this really the case?

When my parents got married, both their families objected strongly to the marriage. It came to a point where there were threats of disowning them from their families. Being carefree and spirited, as people who are in love always are, they got married anyway. Is this racial integration? This intense condemnation of a marriage between two different races in our country, I think not.

My father would often speak of the Chinese in a disparaging manner. One of his favorite anecdotes was, ‘When a man truly smiles, he smiles from his eyes. That is why you will never really see a Chinaman truly smile.’ Or he’d make fun of my grand mother on my mother’s side, telling me not to grow up to be ‘an old crone selling flowers on a ferry boat.’ My mother was equally critical of the Indians. ‘If you don’t study hard you’ll grow up to be a rubber taper or a lorry driver.’

A confusing environment to grow up in? Yes, to say the least. Perhaps my family background is not the best environment to have grown up in. Surely our wonderful Malaysia has people who are open minded and open to racial integration.

I remember growing up in Malacca, and being brought up in an all-Chinese monastery. Even then there was a feeling of being out of place. The children were wary of me because I was different from them. And they asked about my ‘black’ father. I’d shrug off questions like that most of the time, but still it stayed in my mind.

Please bear in mind this was in kinder garden, so surely older children or teenagers are more mature and more open to the concept of the mixing pot. In my experience, the answer is yet again no.

In primary school, a mixed racial environment, the segregation between the races was distressingly apparent. Distressing because I simply did not know which group I belonged to. The Chinese played with the Chinese, the Indians hung out with the Indians and the Malays did nothing with their fellow Malays. I literally wished I could split myself into two and see which of the two groups would accept me better.

In the end, I choose to mix with the Chinese. Firstly, I was brought up by my Chinese grandmother. (She had eventually given in to the idea that her youngest daughter had chosen an Indian for a husband and that there was nothing she could do about it any more.) So I was fluent in Cantonese.

Secondly, there were more of them, so the chances of one of them accepting me would be higher. Full acceptance was not to come; however, I was to them, an Indian who spoke fluent Cantonese.

But that was primary school! Secondary school is where the minds begin to develop and people truly begin to mature physically and mentally. Yup, things developed alright, into greater segregation. I wasn’t here much for high school, as I went over seas (but that is a different story all together), but it was pretty much the same as high school.

So here I am. An adult now! Are adults any more into the whole mixing pot thing? Well to an extent yes, people are more tolerant of racial differences. I have close friends of all races. And we hang out together and have fun. But still the racial differences are emphasized even though in jest.

Jokes about my friend Azan being a lazy Malay come into play. Me being an Indian bugger, and my friend Ming Han being a penny pinching scrooge all happen regularly at the talks we have at the mamaks. So, to an extent there is integration, albeit an uneasy one.

However, when it comes to dating their daughters, it’s a whole new ball game. I’m halve Indian, halve Chinese. The Chinese don’t want an Indian dating their daughter, and the Indians don’t want a Chinese dating their daughter.

It’s a social nightmare for me to be frank. Finding a girlfriend is a regular pain in the ass. It’s not just the parents who are wary. I’ve over heard a classmate in college saying that mixed babies are born stupid. I must be a fine specimen of that I suppose.

I’ve learned over the years that Muhibah, is an ideal, one that our country is striving to achieve. At this point in time, there maybe acceptance of unity between the major races, but as for the ‘half breeds’ like me, its hard in coming.

I’ve learned to take this as a challenge rather than a limitation. After all what is life without challenges? ‘Pariah’ signing off.

A poem for some one special to me

Lips arched

In a half curve

Soft and gentle

Promising nothing but love

You smile your half smile

And everything’s alright again

A whisper of the wind

The promise of morning rain

Baby brown eyes

They twinkle, they shine

Softly oh so softly

When they stare into mine

Honey brown sweet skin

Sunned and gently tanned

From the curl of your neck

To the palm of your hand

With a laughter that does not echo

But tingles across my spine

Music to my ears

To my lips a fine wine

Fingers, soft and curved

Tracings circles on my smile

Steady and calming

All the while

New song...

See the beautiful girl

She walks away

And how gently

Her hips do sway

See that beautiful girl

She not turning back

She’s never judge you

For all you lack

See that beautiful girl

You’ve let her go

For only reasons

You’ll never know

Oh, you wonder

How it ever came to this

Seems so long ago

Since you first kissed

See that beautiful girl

She hurting inside

Filled with emotion

That she just can’t hide

See that beautiful girl

You’ve let her down

All you ever did

Was make her frown

See that beautiful girl

You know she right

She’s leaving you

Walking out of sight

Oh, you wonder

Why it turn out this way

You let her go

When you had so much to say

See that beautiful girl

She loves you so

Where she’s going

She doesn’t know

See that beautiful girl

She’s the one you love

But you snapped the wings

Of love’s lonely dove

See that beautiful girl

You let her go

She only going

Cause you told her so

See that beautiful girl

She lost to you

And its your own fault

You know this true.

Oh, you wonder

If you can make it through

With out her

And just lonely… you…

I wanna be a bear

too lazy to blog... to much crap going on in life... heres a pic to keep you entertained if you're waiting for updates...

later days :)

Strength in numbers?

A familiar saying is it not. There is safety in numbers. The strenght of the wolf is the pack and thes strength of the pack is the wolf.

But the wolf by nature is a loner. Some times he forgets that. But nature never allows him to forget it for too long.

Commuter... can eat?

The answer is... CAN! Damnit no digi cam! Must remember to bug Audrey to lend me hers...

Well the fact is... if you go to the subang parade stop in the morning, you will see hawker shops outside and inside the place. There are even places for you to sit and enjoy your meal. Most of them are take away shops tho.

Is the food good? Do I look like I want yet ANOTHER bout of food poisoning? Call me snobbish, but I don't trust these guys! God knows how old they food is, and how clean they are about preparing their food!

Any ways thats besides the point. My meaning of commuter can eat... is slightly different. I mean that commuter can pakai? As in, is it of any good?

I've not been to the commuter station in 11 years no less. 11 years is a LONG time. Surely there has been SOME progress in the past eleven years. First impression of the station. It has progressed! Progressed into disrepair! The place looked even shadier than I recall it when I was 16... there were still the usual malay dudes at the side hanging out doing what they do best, NOTHING! No security in sight. No staff in sight. Brilliant.

Maybe they upgraded the machinery. Nope. I think it is the EXACT same bloody machines they had 11 years ago. Heres a sidetrack story about me and the machines.

I spent like a coupla seconds trying to figure out how to work the machine. Ok. Click Central. Thats my destination. Done. Wait. How come the fare did not come out. No instructions. Nothing. Odd. Is the machine spoilt? *looks around for help but no one is there*

A few minutes later... it struck me... at the corner of the damn machine, it said 'sehala' (one way) 'balik' (return) 'mingguan' (weekly). The MYSTERY WAS SOLVED! And I felt like a complete idiot. But then. No freaking instructions! How hard can it be to add in a simple instruction like that at the top.

My biggest bitch is that EVERYTHING is in bloody MALAY. I know its the national language and all, but its visit Malaysia year right? What about the tourists? What about poor sods like me who don't know how to read bloody Malay to save their lives? Developing country? One that doesn't even have basic instructions in the international language. What a JOKE.

So armed with my hard fought ticket, I go to the platforms to wait for my train. NO SIGNS of which direction was for which station. NONE whatsoever. You're expected to be pyshic and feel the force. Hmmm the force in this train is headed towards lots of angry people stuck in a jam. Ah! KL!

If I didn't call my friend earlier for instructions I would have probably got on the wrong side of the track. Malaysian authorities are so thoughtful.

Any way I was disgusted at the state of the place. There were morons smoking near children. Ciggerette buds all over the floor. Garbage. And this was in the MORNING. Imagine what it is like in the evenings or at night.

After waiting for what seemed like forever (a normal occurence for Malaysian public transport... this too has not changed) the train arrived. As usual the people make me sick. They don't wait for people to get OUT of the train. They RUSH into the train pushing and shoving, rushing for the ample seats. Come on la. There were like 10 people getting on to the train and millions of empty seats. But no... the POLITENESS in Malaysians just took over.

So I got shoved around a bit. Nevermind. At least the train was clean and the seats comfortable. The only thing that has impressed me so far... and sadly the only thing that WILL impress me.

Now I've been on the London tube and the Singaporean one too. Malaysia's KTM does compare to it in terms of speed. Yup. Like comparing a one legged midget to a steroid junked up Ben Johnson. The train was practically going backwards!

Finally I reach my destination. KL Central. The pride of Malaysia. It was decent la. Clean, well sign posted. Security. Staff to ask questions. Ok so it was not too bad. Pretty ok. So I went about my business in KL Central. And when I was done. I wanted to head back to Subang Parade.

I have the sense of direction of a blind badger. I'm more likely to fart my way into a coven of witches than to find my way back to where I want to go. So I do the logical thing. I ask for directions. Some were polite. But of little help. Most of them gave me fast food chain restaurants as land marks for the platform to Subang Parade. Which of course were of no use.

One particularly snide person even asked me 'What do I look like? The information counter?' To which I replied 'No, you look too stupid to be of any information at all. I'm sorry,' and left.

I walked for 30 minutes before finding my way to the platform. Good exercise. Not so good for my time.

So that was my little adventure with our local KTM system. Long may it live, so that it might ACTUALLY IMPROVE.

Nah. Pigs would fly.