Magic lamp

So you found a magic lamp
in the dark and damp.
But how to use it, you wonder,
a magic spell is in order.

Two crushed diamonds;
Three naughty little demons;
Freshly plucked jasmine petals;
Four streaks of silver metals;

Stolen wings of an angry locust.
Abracadbra, hocus pocus,
it'll take a chant or two
for the magic lamp to work for you.

Squeeze the jasmine into a cup;
little demons dancing down and up.
Mix the crushed diamonds in;
stir with metals for a glossy sheen.

Magic words with power in them;
put the mixture into a frozen clam.
Add a dash of pepper and salt,
otherwise the magic will come to a halt.

Magic lamp, o magic lamp!
I've rescued you from the damp.
I've put every thing in order,
where others wouldn't bother!

Grant me a wish or a whim
or I'll feel a little dim
singing and chanting
but all for nothing.

A puff of smoke in the room;
magic chanted under the full moon.
All the rites have been met
still there's no Genie yet!

Maybe the clam was not fresh.
The diamonds not properly smashed,
or the jasmine already rotten.
There must be something forgotten.

Lucky for us there’s a little book
with instructions if you look.
For ages 18 and above;
Rub it with a rubber glove.

Can be used by any race,
any person, vile or chaste.
You can be male or female
says this lamp from a fairytale.

You can tall or short,
Very stupid or plain smart.
If your ugly or beautiful is no matter
though the genie would prefer the later

So you grab a glove and
rub the lamp with obsessive love.
’Gimme a wish... gimme a wish’
The genie appears in a swish

Not quite genie-like in appearance
yet this should prove no hindrance.
Who cares if the genie is a little square;
his clothes worn and thread bare?

Boxy and small and rather not impressive
not at all imposing and massive
The genie looks a tad bit disappointing;
but the thought of a wish is still exciting!

‘Genie, o Genie!
I have a request so hear me!’
‘One wish, I will grant you’
said the genie, ‘I promise this is true!’

‘Genie, o Genie!’
‘Make some riches for me!’
‘I’ve always been out of luck
‘So make me a million bucks!’

‘That’s odd for a wish,’
The genie said with a swish
Our Genie was rather old
So he misheard what he was told.

In a flash of magic power
The magic wish was over
Leaving you not with a million bucks
But with a million ducks.

So becareful if you ever find a lamp
In the dark and the damp
One wish is all you get
Make sure the Genie hears that!