One bloody christmas

He smiled as the last of his friends waved good bye. The night was finally over. He felt a tinge of sadness but a huge sense of relief. It had gone well. He had survived the night. Nothing went wrong this time and he hadn't made a fool of himself.

He closed his eyes and saw her smiling. It was the same smile he knew 10 years ago. 'Time has passed.' He thought to himself. 'We're not the same people anymore.' Sighing, he reach for a drink, pouring himself a large shot of gin.

He had felt the distance between him and his friends tonight. The span of four years had passed since he had fallen sick. Since his illness, he had kept mostly to himself, allowing himself only the pleasure of seeing them every Christmas.

He felt a pang in his heart. A sudden panic. 'They're growing further and further apart. I'll lose them at this rate.'

You have me.

Quietly he drank deeply. Taking his fill and letting the alcohol work its magic on him.

'Finally I can relax and be myself.'

'I'm not the joker. I'm not the light of the party. I'm not anything. Just a washed out drunk thats about to hit thirty.' he reached for the glass and poured another shot.

She had looked wonderful tonight. He smiled slightly to himself. Her brown eyes were gentle as always. But there was something different about her tonight. A glow about her. A presence of iron will. He couldn't place his finger on it.

We are special you and I. Different from the rest.

He had asked her how it felt to be living their dream. Being a lawyer. Their dreams. It felt like another lifetime. They had both wanted to be lawyers. He had seen himself in the smart suit, the ugly wig and an aura of invincibility in the court with his confidence and intelligence.

He laughed bitterly. 'I hate crowds. I'm uncomfortable even with my own friends now. Let alone strangers. Some lawyer I would make now.'

We don't need them. We have each other.

'My own friends.'

'I can barely reach them now. When we talk. Theres some kind of barrier. Something between us.'

'Time for medicine.' He thought bitterly.

Don't take it. You know you don't want to.

He would be as sick as a dog tommorow. 'Medication and alcohol don't mix,' his doctor had warned him many times. Cursing softly he took the tablets and downed them with another shot of gin.

'Here's to amazing health,' he said deep with irony.

We are fine, you and I. If you would just stop fighting it.

She had been serious when she talked about her work. Explaining things patiently; as if to a child. Quipping little details that he listened to her intently.

'Thats it. Thats the difference between us.'

'She's grown up.'

You are better than she is. I know this.

'I have been sick,' he said outloud; hating himself even as the excuse poured from his lips. Frustrated now. He flung the bottle against the wall. Listening to it shatter.

He picked up the piece of the broken glass.

'Like my dreams,' he thought.

Together we will make our own dreams.

'I don't want to listen to you. Go away.' he half pleaded.

We are one you and I. There is nothing you can do to change that.

'I am better now.'

Better because you have been listening to me...

'Shut up. I don't want to hear it. Shut the hell up.'

'I love her. She's always kept me safe. When I needed help. She was always there.'

She is a stranger now. You don't know her. But I know you.

He reached for his hand phone. Desparately dialing the number. Then he hung up.

'She can't know I'm sick. She can't.'

It would mean nothing to her.

He saw red then. A felt that familiar ringing in his ears. He knew it would come soon. He would fade into the background. An HE would take over again.

'No. I am fine now.'

Relax. It only hurts for a little while.

He screamed.

'I have been sick... I have been sick...' he wailed helplessly.

Blood dripped from his left arm. Covered with a dozen deep cuts. His right hand was gripping several shard of broken glass vehemently.

It only hurts for a while. Rest now. I will take care of you. I promise.

'I'm not sick anymore. I'm not sick...'

Blood began to pour from his wrist.

'I will get better. And you'll be gone.' he cried hugging his feet in the fetal position.

We are one you and I. Rest now. I'll take care of the rest.

When he came to. He awoke to a room smashed and battered meticulously. His white shirt was stained blood red.

'I have been sick.' he thought. Then passed out into oblivion.

A hilarious one :)

Suki :D

Ok... these pics are way over due... I have more of her but I'm lazy to post em... blogger takes for ever to upload pics... here are the cuter ones... the rest of them are just of her sleeping any way :p

so steph here are the pics... now where are you :p

Dying in sevice...

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names with small American flags mounted on either side of it.

The seven year old stared at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, "Good morning Alex." "Good morning Pastor," he replied, still focused on the plaque.

"Pastor, what is this?" he asked.

The pastor said, "Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service." Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque.

Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear, asked, "Which service, the 8:30 or the 10:45?"

300... and a story :)

I thought I'd do something a little special for the 300th post... so here's a story... its gonna take a while to finish I think... I've not really had much inspiration for stories of late...

Strawberry Milkshake

He choked back the angry words that came to mind when he thought about her. Bile rised to his mouth and he wanted to spit badly. 'So you don't care? You're just gonna let your dad decide everything for you?' he asked her angrilly.

'I don't have a choice. I don't want to talk to you anymore. Thanks for ruining my day. Good bye,' she said, putting the phone down.

He slammed his curled up fist into a wall. It throbbed with a piercing sensation that calmed him down a little. 'Damn it! Why did things always have to be so freaking uphill?' he cursed to himself. 'Damn it all. I'm just gonna call the whole thing off. The hell should I care if she had this shitty attitude.

He went for a run. Like he always did when he was upset or angry. It wasn't long before he was squatting and gasping for breath. But the anger was still there. Cursing again, he slammed his fists once again into the tarred floor. He grimaced a little and felt blood trickling down from his knuckles.

She was so beautiful. In every way. Her hair was a soft auburn brown with bangs that rested just below her eye brows. Habitually, she'd pout and blow them out of her eyes. Her eyes were a honey brown that beamed an innocence he'd never seen in women. He was enchanted the moment he saw her. He was cursed.

'Hello. Is this seat taken?' He asked flashing his best smile.

'No. But what do you want?' she asked pointedly.

'I'm not a salesman. Don't worry. I won't try to sell you anything you don't want,' he laughed.

She stared at him quietly. Not reacting to his joke.

'You're from Taylor's A levels right?' he added quickly. He had seen her textbooks. They were the same as his when he was in college.

'I'm your senior. Let me buy you a drink to welcome you to college,' he said, getting up to walk towards the counter.

'You don't have to. I'm just about to leave anyway,' she said.

'Its fine. You can have your drink to go if you want. If you're in that big a hurry.'

He bought her a strawberry milkshake. The same drink he noticed that she had just finished a few minutes before he went up to talk to her.

'Here. Your favorite!' he said smiling broadly.

'How... how did you know?' she asked, truely stunned.

'Lucky guess!' he laughed.

They had talked then. From morning till late afternoon. She liked movies, fast cars and shopping. Quite typical of a teenage girl. He found that he knew just how to make her smile and laugh. More than that, he found himself laughing along when she laughed her infectious laughter. They had little in common but so much to talk about.

'How can you not believe in God?' she asked astounded.

'I've had a tough life. No God has ever come to bail me out. No God has ever been there to make me smile. I can't see or touch Him. It easy if you're me,' he said quietly.

'Thats so sad. I want so badly to show you how great God can be. If you just believe,' she said enthusiastically.

He smiled, touched by her sincerity.

'I have to run now. I'm way late for work,' he chuckled looking at his watch.

'Work? I thought you said you were my senior!' she frowned.

'Oh, I am,' he smiled. 'By give or take 5 years. I finished my A levels in 1997,' he laughed.

'You're shameless!' she chided.

'I might be. But I'm definitely glad I spoke to you. You're amazing!' he said leaning in to kiss her on her forehead.

'Here's my name card. I had a great time talking to you. I hope we get to do this some time again. Take care hun,' he said walking past her.

'He was too well dressed to be a college student any way,' she muttered to herself.

A few weeks went by. He thought she'd never call. But fate was funny in that sense.

'Hello. Vincent?' she asked.

'Hello. Yup. Vincent here. Who's on the line?'he said, thinking that the voice was oddly familiar.

'Its Yuki,' she said expentantly.

'Yuki?' he asked blankly.

'You bought me a drink. An... an... and conned me into thinking you were my senior!' she stammered. What if he doesn't remember me. She thought. Its been nearly a month. I shouldn't have waited so long to call.

'Oh hi hun! How ya doing? I thought you'd never call!' he said and couldn't help but smile.

'I thought you would call. Its not right for the girl to do the calling,' she said irritatedly.

'Hahha.. what old fashioned thinking,' he grinned. 'Well hun, do tell me. How am I supposed to call if I don't have your number?!' he laughed even harder.

'Oh. You don't have my number.'

'I didn't know your name till 30 seconds ago either. You never told me!' he explained.

'Oh..' she said a little helplessly.

'How are you? It been ages. Are you up for a drink tonight?' he asked casually.

'I can't go out at night. How about tommorow afternoon. I have class till 12.' she said.

'Some of us are working you know! We have to earn a living!' he groaned.

'Oh. I see,' she said not knowing what to say.

'Well I guess I could slot you in for lunch. But it will have to be a quick one!' he smiled, sensing her disappointment.

'That would be great!'

'Lunch it is then. See you at the same place. Sharp 12. Don't be late!' he said, hanging up.

Nearing 300th post

woo... this is the 299 post for this blog... in the past 3 years... not all that impressive really... I had spurts where I blogged lots and lots... and periods where I abandoned this blog to kingdom come...

a lot has happened over these three years... I think a lifetime has passed me by in fact... but lets not get all emo and soppy over it... its over... so heres to another three years and three hundred blog posts...

oh... the reason I'm writing so crappy is cause I just finished my freakin PR assignment... after all that formal writing... I'm too lazy to write proper sentences with proper punctuation and sentence structure :p

tmr's gonna be a early day... gotta head to the printers bright and early to get my stuff printed before the masses come to print their stuff...

for ONCE... just ONCE... I'd like to not have to do last minute work for my assignments... blah...

sleep time... later days people

edit: btw... why the hell has my header for the blog shrunk? its bloody pissing off after all that time I put into making the bleeding banner... only for it to shrink and look even uglier than it originally was... who do I sue?!

Lifes too short to be stuck in the wrong job!

This is probably one of the most creative advertising campaigns I've seen... effective and hilarious too... enjoy!

Spoils of love

The quiet of autumn beckons
and summer's dream has gone
Sit by me and watch the sun fade
As we wait for the early morn...

As we cuddle close
and brace for winters cold
Stay close by me
and in my arms, you I will hold

Safe from the world
Safe from reality
Far away from tommorow
And its cruelty

People say that
Tommorow is but another day
But our paths diverged
And we went our separate ways

I say love
You say infatuation
The two words, like me and you...
hold no future... no relation...

honey brown
and albaster white
We stand separate
like day and night

We tried to hide it
We tried to keep it quiet
Being together meant everything
when our emotions were fired

but

I eat with my hands
You eat with chopsticks
The world would never smile
On a couple with this mix

I believe
in freedom of thought
Your family was brought up
with the love of God

I say 'saya'
and you say 'wor'
We're just another victim
to add to the racial score

They say that everything
seem right in love's toil
But you were water
and I was oil

So come ye vultures
Malay, Indian and chinese,
Rips away what love we have
Take all that you can seize...

Hold me honey...
So hold me close tonight
Cause we'll be meeting tommorow
Alone and cold... in the morning light

I'll hold you tight
I'll wipe your tears dry
I'll always love you
But this is good bye...