Turn me off

I wish I could turn me off
with a switch that goes click
then I'd sleep and sleep
sleep and sleep like a brick

Insomania is no joke! I've been having problems sleeping and I look like a constipated panda. Only less fair. Fair as in the opposite of dark ... not less good looking that is. I dunno. Are panda's good looking? I've never heard of a handsome panda before. Ah well. Go figure.

Sheri actually told me I looked like something from the 'house of the dead'. You know that 'hoot-m up'game with zombies and monsters in it. NOT flattering. Perhaps true though sadly.

I'mma get those eye treatment things...cumbers... potatoes... what ever it takes... then again... I'm too lazy to be bothered... so I look like a constipated panda... at least I'll be a GRUMPY constipated panda... not some over friendly bundle of fur.

Speaking of over friendly bundles of fur. Baby has been down lately. Mom's had her hand operation. So she can't touch baby in case she gets the wound infected or something. So baby's been banned from her room. This has really depressed the poor lil tyke. She sits outside my mom's room whining to get in a lot. Rends at the heart strings I tell you. So I normally bring her in for 'visits' where she can look at my mom but not touch. She goes wild and its quite hard to control her. I have the scratch marks all over my arms to prove it.

Not much else to talk about. College is getting crazy. Loads of deadlines to meet at minimum times. Even the thought of it is daunting. 1 Video, 1 essay and one presentation. Its gonna be a rough ride.

Some how through the hectic days I still find time to day dream a little about you. Sigh.

Emo

I feel empty like a piece of me is missing... must be the flu... ehehe... or is it?

I miss you so... its hard to put into words... let alone a poem...

things will never be the same

Fairy tale

A married couple in their early 60s was out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said,

"For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish."

"Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband" said the wife.

The fairy waved her magic wand and poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II luxury liner appeared in her hands. Then it was the husband's turn.

He thought for a moment and said: "Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.

Both The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish...

So the fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - the husband became 92 years old.

The moral of the story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember that fairies are female

Just Missing you

I been thinking about ya
Tho I'm here without ya
Thinking and thinkin
Of what could've been

Wondering where you are
My one, my only star
Just missing you
With a heart thats still true

Still true to you, unfazed
no sweet moment erased
my hearts beating and beating
but with out you theres no feeling

No love and no joy
just a broken unwanted toy
Cast aside and forgotten
slowly fading, surely rotten

I wish I could give meaning
to this pain I'm feeling
That it would be for something
And you'd feel just anything

But you'll be you
and I'll be without you
Even a poet at times
can run out of rhymes

When his words fail him
the outlook is grim
For words are the only thing
that can take away the sting

What tears are dried
What pains I've cried
My words tho true
no longer touch you

So I'll break my pen
at my wits end
I never will reach you
still my love is true.

I'll write no more love songs
Whisper no more sing alongs
Its all out of tune
And the rhymes broken.

Mom and Dad

They fuck you up, your mom and dad
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-stylen hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can
And don't have any kids yourself.

Conversation my with my lil bro

As in my younger brother... not my... NVM...

I love rendering him speechless... I told him that I updated the link to his blogsite... and I'm going to put it down as German porn site... here's the convo :


Vince - Simply Vinc3! says:
gut JA?

k e n s e i`-wenn du lacheln...My Sable Wings Can Carry Us Both. says:
JA o_O

k e n s e i`-wenn du lacheln...My Sable Wings Can Carry Us Both. says:
NEIN

k e n s e i`-wenn du lacheln...My Sable Wings Can Carry Us Both. says:
NEIN

Vince - Simply Vinc3! says:
DAS IST GUT JA

Vince - Simply Vinc3! says:
JA JA JAAJAJAAJAJAJAAJAAa

Vince - Simply Vinc3! says:
JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

k e n s e i`-wenn du lacheln...My Sable Wings Can Carry Us Both. says:
merf

Vince - Simply Vinc3! says:
german porn

Vince - Simply Vinc3! says:
JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

k e n s e i`-wenn du lacheln...My Sable Wings Can Carry Us Both. says:
=.=

Living till 80

I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well for my age"

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"

He asked, "Well, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer/wine?"

"Oh no," I replied. "I'm not doing either.

"Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"

I said, "No, my other Doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!"

"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?" No, I don't," I said.

He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?"

"No," I said. "I don't do any of those things.

"He looked at me and said, "Then why do you give a shit if you live to be 80?"

Magic lamp

So you found a magic lamp
in the dark and damp.
But how to use it, you wonder,
a magic spell is in order.

Two crushed diamonds;
Three naughty little demons;
Freshly plucked jasmine petals;
Four streaks of silver metals;

Stolen wings of an angry locust.
Abracadbra, hocus pocus,
it'll take a chant or two
for the magic lamp to work for you.

Squeeze the jasmine into a cup;
little demons dancing down and up.
Mix the crushed diamonds in;
stir with metals for a glossy sheen.

Magic words with power in them;
put the mixture into a frozen clam.
Add a dash of pepper and salt,
otherwise the magic will come to a halt.

Magic lamp, o magic lamp!
I've rescued you from the damp.
I've put every thing in order,
where others wouldn't bother!

Grant me a wish or a whim
or I'll feel a little dim
singing and chanting
but all for nothing.

A puff of smoke in the room;
magic chanted under the full moon.
All the rites have been met
still there's no Genie yet!

Maybe the clam was not fresh.
The diamonds not properly smashed,
or the jasmine already rotten.
There must be something forgotten.

Lucky for us there’s a little book
with instructions if you look.
For ages 18 and above;
Rub it with a rubber glove.

Can be used by any race,
any person, vile or chaste.
You can be male or female
says this lamp from a fairytale.

You can tall or short,
Very stupid or plain smart.
If your ugly or beautiful is no matter
though the genie would prefer the later

So you grab a glove and
rub the lamp with obsessive love.
’Gimme a wish... gimme a wish’
The genie appears in a swish

Not quite genie-like in appearance
yet this should prove no hindrance.
Who cares if the genie is a little square;
his clothes worn and thread bare?

Boxy and small and rather not impressive
not at all imposing and massive
The genie looks a tad bit disappointing;
but the thought of a wish is still exciting!

‘Genie, o Genie!
I have a request so hear me!’
‘One wish, I will grant you’
said the genie, ‘I promise this is true!’

‘Genie, o Genie!’
‘Make some riches for me!’
‘I’ve always been out of luck
‘So make me a million bucks!’

‘That’s odd for a wish,’
The genie said with a swish
Our Genie was rather old
So he misheard what he was told.

In a flash of magic power
The magic wish was over
Leaving you not with a million bucks
But with a million ducks.

So becareful if you ever find a lamp
In the dark and the damp
One wish is all you get
Make sure the Genie hears that!

Shakespheare for dummies

A certain sweetheart always calls me a shakeshpheare nerd. Well with these translations of shakespheare, I don't think I'll be called a nerd any more. Maybe a perv. Hahaha.

While Shakespeare was a very wise man, but you'd never know it because he used such fancy-schmancy words. Now our crack team of cunning linguists has translated a number of Shakespeare's quotes into modern day English. It's about time we were all able to enjoy the wit and wisdom of this oddly groomed scribe.

Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin, as self-neglecting.
Translation: We should masturbate more.

The weakest kind of fruit drops earliest to the ground.
Translation: Only fight sissies.

Great floods have flown from simple sources.
Translation: Never have sex with your girlfriend during her period.

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.
Translation: Let's kill all the lawyers. Really.

Be to yourself as you would to your friend.
Translation: It's OK to sleep with your sister because your friend sure would.

Is the jay more precious than the lark because his feathers are more beautiful?
Translation: Good-looking strippers get bigger tips.

Have patience, and endure.
Translation: Use one of those numbing creams if you have to. Or try wearing five condoms at once.

I can express no kinder sign of love than this kind kiss.
Translation: First base is better than striking out altogether.

Men at some time are masters of their fate.
Translation: Get married and you're screwed.

They that thrive well take counsel of their friends.
Translation: If your drinking buddies say she's really a man, listen to them.

That man that hath a tongue, I say, is no man, if with his tongue he cannot win a woman.
Translation: If you're desperate to impress her, you can always resort to oral sex.

O, flatter me, for love delights in praises.
Translation: Honesty isn't necessarily the best policy when it comes to penis size.

The course of true love never did run smooth.
Translation: When dumping someone, always wear a protective cup.

I'll note you in my book of memory.
Translation: Don't expect me to call the day after.

Alas, poor world, what treasure hast thou lost.
Translation: Lap dances have actually been outlawed in some parts of the country.

Love's gentle spring doth always fresh remain.
Translation: With a little help from our friends at Massengill, that is.

Praising what is lost, makes the remembrance dear.
Translation: When you're telling your buddies about your conquests, exaggerate. A lot.

'Tis better to be brief than tedious.
Translation: Nooners rock.

My endeavors have ever come too short of my desires.
Translation: You've never had twins and you never will. Get over it.