Monday, February 13, 2006

Valentines day

yes.. here it is ladies and gentleman... Valentines day... the day people who are single complain about rippoff rose prices even though they aren't buying any... the day couples make their plans and have a time all us single people envy secretly :)

I can't quite sleep now cause theres so much on my mind... Valentines Day... this one was supposed to be a special valentines... but like most things in life.. all that shimmers is sure to fade away...

I wish it didn't work out this way... i honestly wanted to see you smile and make you laugh today of all days... call me a commercial sucker... but i would have bought those roses... and chocolates... dinner if time allowed...

sigh...

just needed to get this off my chest... have a 9am class and its almost 2am... I guess I won't be sleeping very much.. ehehe.. but whats new ;)

I love you yu chan... nothing can change that...

Monday, February 06, 2006

Impress your boy/girlfriend

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN

Wine her,
Dine her,
Call her,
Hug her,
Hold her,
Surprise her,
Compliment her,
Smile at her,
Laugh with her,
Cry with her,
Cuddle with her,
Shop with her,
Give her jewelry,
Buy her flowers,
Hold her hand,
Write love letters to her,
Go to the end of the earth and back again for her.

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN

Show up naked.
Bring beer.


See... who says men are complicated? Ridiculous... look at the amount of effort it takes to impressed a SINGLE woman. JUST ONE. And if you're caught impressing more than one woman at a time... you're screwed!

Men where as are more than happy to be impressed all at the same time. You bring a keg to a party, ALL the men will be impressed with you. You turn up naked. Same thing! Hell, you might have to fight their impressedness off!

We, Men, believe in sharing happiness and joy. Unlike women who need 101 one things to squeeze a smile let alone a bit of nookie, Men are giving creatures and would willingly give nookie with minimum fuss.

Its true I tell you. What so wrong about being appeased by a beer and a woman dressed as she was when she was born? Nothing! The ancient gods demanded blood sacrifices and virgins. Us men aren't fussy abt virginity. In fact its frowned upon by some men. Too much damn work they say.

Beer > blood ... thus men are much much easier to please than the ancient gods... Then again, the ancient gods just required blood sacrifice and virgins. Women demand a hell of a lot more. In conclusion. We men, are the easiest to please. The ancient gods come a close second. Women of course.... are the most difficult to please.

Watch the denial count rocket now!

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Food for thought

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Life is sexually transmitted.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?